Da Svidaniya

Well, the Winter Olympics are over, and the closing ceremony is going on as I type this, but you'll get to see it on tape on TV tonight.  Spoiler alert:  The Olympic flame gets extinguished. :-D 

I think NBC did a decent job covering these Winter Games, thanks to their cable outlets, which were able to show many events live during the daytime . . . which many people were able to see thanks to a depressed job market that gives too many Americans too much free time in the afternoon, as well as live Internet streaming for those who have desk jobs and pretend to be busy - you know who you are!  :-D  Being owned by Comcast obviously helps.

That out of the way, it's time for me to thank everyone who inspired and insulted me in my quest to comment on these Games.  I'd like to thank Bob Costas' doctor, for getting the little big man back up to par and curing his pinkeye in rapid time so that our eyes would be spared more of Matt Lauer.  I'd also like to thank the unsung genius who brought back Vladimir Pozner, the American-raised Russian journalist, for commentary and language interpretation, because he is the most articulate broadcaster to ever come of out of Russia.  Special thanks also goes to Maria Sharapova for also providing commentary of her homeland on American television, and for being hot.  Thanks also to Julia Mancuso for continuing to be hot, and also for continuing to have such an irresistible personality.  And a big thank-you to Meredith Vieira, Bob Costas' other fill-in host, for, unlike Matt Lauer, having a personality.

Special kudos go to Mary Carillo for her stories on Russian culture, particularly her Trans-Siberian Railway stories, and for doing two things most Americans wouldn't do on a dare - drink vodka on national television and ride a train for more than two hours.   

No thanks, however, to the broadcasting geniuses who put NBC's late-night coverage on way too late at night for many of us to watch.  I know you wanted to give Jimmy Fallon a boost and take advantage of the built-in Olympic audience to launch his new gig as the host of "The Tonight Show," but did we have to stay up until the wee small hours to watch the Olympic late-night program afterwards?  Some of us have to get up early in the morning!       

And a wag of the finger to whoever handled figure skater/commentator Johnny Weir's wardrobe.  Looking at his outfits almost gave me an eye infection! 

I'd also like to express my thanks to Chevrolet for making the only commercials shown during the Games that didn't bore me.  While they did not inspire me to trade in my Volkswagen, they did inspire me to check and see if the upcoming seventh-generation Golf will have Siri technology in America.  And yes, thank you, Siri.  

Thanks also to the Russian people for their hospitality toward foreign spectators brave enough to actually go to Sochi under the threat of a terrorist attack that never happened.  Special thanks go to the band Pussy Riot, for staging free concerts at the Olympic venues whenever the curling competition got dull.  But I gotta tell you, girls - ski masks?  Come on, that's been old since Slipknot.  If you want to conceal your identities, there are better ways to do it. Look at Daft Punk!  

No thanks to the police for arresting Pussy Riot, especially without asking for their street performers' permits first.  

Among the athletes,  I'd like to recognize several: the Dutch speed skating team, who won all the big races and may in fact be winning them still (did someone leave the lights on at the Adler Arena?); Adelina Sotnikova, for becoming the first Russian Olympic figure skating champion; Ted Ligety, for becoming the first two-time American Olympic skiing champion;  French ski-cross racers sweeping the medals in that event for the first time ever, and; Meryl Davis and Charlie White for becoming the first American Olympic ice dancing champions ever.  I'd also like to single out Meryl Davis for being hot and a brunette, and Charlie White for being the man who accompanied Meryl Davis to Russia. ;-) 

A tip of the hat to all the figure skaters who made daring choices in their music selections.  Prince?  Pink Floyd's "Shine On You Crazy Diamond?"  An orchestrated version of "Bohemian Rhapsody?"  Mama mia, mama mia!  Okay, in a  hip-hop world, these choices might seem conservative, but not in the very conservative world of figure skating.  And choosing Floyd or Queen music from 1975 would have definitely denied Dorothy Hamill a gold medal in 1976.    

Time and space, like Siberia, may be infinite, but they do not permit me here to recognize all the other great Olympic athletes of these Games.  But, in closing, I would like to make a special shout-out to Latvia, as always, for making things interesting in men's ice hockey - dudes, you almost beat Canada! - and claiming silver in the four-man bobsled race, an accomplishment of Kipursian proportions.  To the people of Latvia:  Your country is becoming the country I like to root for in the Olympics when there are no Americans involved.

And that's it for these Winter Games. Wait, are the Dutch still winning speed skating medals? :-D

On to Pyeongchang in 2018.