The Olympics: My Greatest Hits, Part Two

Here are some more favorite Olympic observations of mine, these comments regarding the 2008 Olympics in Beijing and the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver:

"You know what I think is really funny?  At the Olympics, American gymnast Nastia Liukin is eighteen years old, making her one of the few female gymnasts who are legal adults. Oksana Chusovitina, a Russian gymnast competing for Germany, is even older - 33. Swimmer Dara Torres, competing in her fifth Olympiad, is 41.  Women in women's Olympic sports - what a concept!" - Beijing, 2008

"In China, where eight is considered a lucky number, where the Beijing Olympics began on August 8, 2008, at 8:00 PM, Michael Phelps won his eighth gold medal of the Games, winning the most gold medals in a single Olympiad and racking up fourteen career gold medals over all.  Watching Michael Phelps swim was like what experiencing Elvis Presley must have been like back in 1956. You knew you were watching something more than just a phenomenon, something that hadn't been done before and may never be achieved again." - Beijing, 2008

"If the recent Olympic performances of the American 4x100 relay teams - male and female - are any indication of the state of track and field in this country, perhaps it's best that we don't pay attention to track and field apart from the Olympics.  I mean, how difficult can it be to pass a baton??"- Beijing, 2008

"I watched the Olympics for both the athleticism and the opportunity to find something to make fun of, but just about the only thing that came close to ridicule was beach volleyball player Misty May-Treanor - or was it her partner Kerri Walsh? - encouraging George Walker Bush to pat her on the bum, or maybe Cuban tae kwon do champion Angel Matos kicking a referee in the head and getting banned for life.  That's astonishing!  Cuba has tae kwon do champions?" - Beijing, 2008

"Last night, Mary Carillo reported on polar bears in Churchill, Manitoba - a part of Canada, sure, but nowhere near Vancouver, where the Winter Games are actually taking place. Churchill, apparently, is enjoying more suitable weather for winter sports than Vancouver these days. Well, you can't have the Winter Games up there with all those polar bears wandering around." - Vancouver, 2010

"In the men's luge doubles event at the Winter Olympics last night, the top two finishing teams were two fraternal pairs. Andreas and Wolfgang Linger of Austria won the gold medals in this event last night, and the silver medals went to two Latvian brothers, Juris and Andris Sics. The Linger brothers also won in this same event at Torino in 2006. (Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it Linger?)  The luge doubles event requires one rider to lie on top of another. I guess it makes sense that, if you're going to have some guy lie down on your stomach on a little sled going down a hill at 84 miles an hour, it might as well be your brother." - Vancouver, 2010

"I'm finally watching curling at the Winter Olympics after finding it on CNBC by accident. The American men are playing the British men, and there's been plenty of hurling and sweeping. So far none of the rocks have blown up yet.  If that happens, the curlers will need . . . HELP!" - Vancouver, 2010

"[T]he United States is gaining in winter sports that it had been uncompetitive in for decades; they just won the silver medal in the men's team Nordic combined skiing event. Americans remain also-rans, though, in the biathlon, even though it involves rifles. You'd think that, with the gun culture in the American heartland and the NRA rolls overflowing in snowy states like Michigan, we'd excel in that event. There's only one thing to do to insure more competitiveness in the biathlon . . ..  Put rednecks on skis!" - Vancouver, 2010

"In progress: the United States versus Canada for the Olympic gold medal in men's hockey . . ..  Two of Canada's players are named Sidney Crosby and Rick Nash.  Crosby and Nash.  Yeah, I have their Wind On the Water album. But without Stills, it's just not the same." - Vancouver, 2010

Thanks for putting up with me. :-)