Foul Ball

The U.S. women's soccer team, which dominated the Women's FIFA World Cup for two decades by winning all but one tournament, has now lost a second tournament.  After a scoreless game against Sweden this past weekend, Megan Rapinoe blew a penalty kick in overtime, eliminating the Americans from the tournament. 

In no way am I suggesting that I'm glad that U.S. women's soccer team lost, or that I feel any of the same schadenfreude I get when the Brazilian men's soccer team gets eliminated from the World Cup.  (Every fan of men's soccer should have two favorite national teams - their own and whoever can beat Brazil.)  But I do feel that it was necessary for the women's team to lose because, until recently, the U.S. women's team had been an exception to the rule that you can't win 'em all.  Champion teams need to lose once in awhile, and the Brazilian men's soccer team needs to lose more often than that.

That out of the way, I find it very disturbing and nauseating that American conservative male sports fans are pleased to see the national women's soccer team get eliminated from the World Cup tournament because the team has a reputation for being "woke" - standing up for racial quality, gender equality, rights for non-heterosexauls . . . literally, everything Ron DeSantis has outlawed in Florida. Twitter (oops - X) has been exploding with schadenfreude par excellence (oh great, I just blended two different languages) over their loss, and they found it especially sweet that Megan Rapinoe, who is a lesbian, was the one that blew it for the team.  One chap on social media says that the women's soccer team is the only American national team he roots against because of their "wokeness."  They were very happy to see them brought down by Sweden, even though Sweden itself is a "woke" country where they have all of the nice things the American right won't let us have here.

Right-wing sports fans, gleeful to see the U.S. women's soccer team lose, are calling them a national disgrace.  Yeah, I think they mean the American men's soccer team, which not only has never won a World Cup, they didn't even qualify for 2018.  Then again, American conservative male sports fans think soccer itself is un-American, so why care about even that?  Real Americans love football!  Their nationalistic machismo and their mindless chants of "USA! USA!" at international sporting events are a bigger disgrace than the U.S. women's soccer team - or even the U.S. men's soccer team - could ever be.

Though, all that said, maybe I do have a little schadenfreude myself.  Not toward the U.S. women's soccer team, but toward the subliminally misandric MSNBC anchor Stephanie Ruhle.  Now maybe she won't be so smug for awhile.  

GOAL!

The United States Women's Soccer Team won its suit against US Soccer for being paid less then the men's team.  Now they're getting a sweet $22 million in damages plus $2 million to help them in their post-soccer careers and also to promote women's and girls' soccer.

Justice is done.  

It makes sense for the ruling to be in their favor, because, as one CNN commentator noted yesterday, the women's team has won numerous World Cups and Olympic gold medals whereas the men's team, just as assuredly, have won none.

I wish people in the media wouldn't rub it in against the men's team.

That's my job! 

Though, the men's team, in an attempt to look relevant, have supported the women's team in their suit.

Wait! Guys!  Did I say, "Send in the clowns?" Huh? 😠 😛

U.S. Soccer: Women and Men

Congratulations to the U.S .women's soccer team for winning the Women's World Cup . . . again.

It's always nice to see Americans win something when this country is prone to losing so often.

Which brings to mind the unpleasant subject of the U.S. men's soccer team . . .

Once again, the clown princes of international sports needed the women to repair the damage they did to American soccer by failing to qualify for the 2018 World Cup.  But then, failing is what the clown show that is our men's soccer team does best. 

I'll come right out and admit it.  As an American male, I can't help but feel total shame to watch the men's soccer team's failures, especially when they coincide with the women's team's successes.  The gals must be tired of having to redeem American athleticism on the world stage after the guys keep losing over and over.  This is a tradition that goes back twenty years when the women's team won their World Cup tournament in 1999, a year after the U.S. team finished in the men's World Cup last when they got eliminated by . . . the Iranians.  And they got knocked out of qualifying for 2018 by Trinidad and Tobago, a country the size of Delaware with a population the size of Maine's.  It's like what General Motors executives must have felt like when the Mazda Miata became a huge success after the Pontiac Fiero tanked.

And if the victorious women's team decides not to accept an invitation to the White House, well, maybe the men's team can go in their place . . .

. . . because one bozo deserves another.

My inferiority complex is showing.

Foul

The American national women's soccer team is suing the United States Soccer Federation for pay discrimination, saying that the men make more money.

Male soccer players making more money than their female counterparts?  I'm shocked!

No, really, I am.  Especially when you consider what an incompetent bunch of clowns our men's team is.     

Ladies and gentlemen, the American men's soccer team, hard at practice!

And this is their coach!

Now, I kid about the men's soccer team - to a degree - but I don't kid about the discrimination the women's team is facing.  They bring in a lot of money for American soccer, yet they don't get to find out how much they bring in.  All they know is that they're getting paid less than the guys.  Our men's team - which, last time I checked, is ranked 24th in the world and didn't even make the cut for last year's World Cup - makes more money for losing than our number-one-rated women's team makes for winning.  The women have won countless World Cup and Olympic titles over the years, whereas I could lose all of my fingers in a freak accident and still have enough fingers left to count our men's championships on.

I hope the women win this lawsuit, though the deficiencies of the judicial system - the most recent example being Paul Manafort's lenient sentence for tax fraud, bank fraud and failing to disclose his foreign bank accounts - obviously do not reassure me.  But the women are worth every cent they're entitled to; we should give them the pay a champion sports team deserves.  If we paid the U.S. men's team what they deserve based on their record, they'd play for free.

In fact, they suck so much that they owe us money.

Who do I sue?