Shortly after Volkswagen of America CEO Scott Keogh declared that a backlash against SUVs - henceforth to be called "monster wagons" on this blog - was imminent, Volkswagen of America itself released a survey that apparently contradicts Keogh's prediction.
As noted in an earlier post, a survey taken by Volkswagen of America in September 2019, the findings of which were released this month (December 2019), revealed that people who buy monster wagons, like the VW Atlas (above), not only love them, they plan to stick with that style when considering future car purchases. Over nine in ten owners of monster wagons rank them as the best cars for the money, and 87 percent say they do not plan to buy another style of vehicle in the future. Ninety-four percent of them feel more confident when driving one, and 90 percent of parents agree that they will continue to own a monster wagon for as far as they an see - which is forever, considering that they can see very well behind the wheel of one, blocking the views of us sedan and hatchback drivers in the process.
Even more frightening, owners of monster wagons regard their vehicles as living rooms on wheels - more than eight out of ten parents say that they're perfect places for family discussions (hey, lady, stop lecturing Junior about his girlfriend and pay attention to the road, and so what if she's not of your religion?) and that it creates a new space for family time (come on, people, you can't play Yahtzee in a moving car!). Conclusion: Monster wagons are a bigger threat to what passes for American civilization than previously thought.
Oh yeah, here are other reasons why Americans love their monster wagons. Men appreciate the comfortable seating for their fat pantloads, while women appreciate the improved safety in a collision with, say, a Toyota Yaris, which is going to be on the losing end in a crash with a Lincoln Navigator.
"This survey confirms that our current portfolio of SUVs aligns with what consumers are prioritizing here in the U.S.," Hein Schafer, Senior Vice President, Product Marketing and Strategy for Volkswagen of America, said in response to the survey. "All of our SUVs rank high on independent measures of comfort, standard safety features and passenger space within their classes.: Schafer added that Volkswagen of America is "focused on those priorities as we develop new entries like our upcoming subcompact SUV."
Contradictions in terms notwithstanding ("subcompact SUV"?), it's clear to see which direction Volkswagen is going in America, and that makes it more difficult for me to push for the inclusion of the base eighth-generation Golf hatchback in the brand's U.S. lineup (which I'm still up to; please visit my other blog). But what can I do? Just look at how these auto companies have brainwashed gullible, unsuspecting, stupid Americans into buying these ugly behemoths and pumping up their profit margins. Leaving Volkswagen aside, I'm appalled by all of the automobile manufacturers that concentrate solely on monster wagons and their evil relations, pickup trucks, in their commercials. A commercial for the Ford Escape encourages people to by one and take it into the woods to chop down an evergreen for a Christmas tree because, although you could go to a tree lot or garden center in town, you have a four-wheel drive vehicle and you have to set an example to set for your children. Right, an example of environmental degradation by chopping down your own Christmas tree at will as an example, even though Christmas trees sold in lots and garden centers are responsibly grown on Christmas tree farms. Or the Chevrolet commercial advertising the Christmastime employee discount offer to people who don't work for Chevrolet - not one vehicle in the commercial is a Malibu sedan or a Bolt electric hatchback!
And don't get me started on Land Rover's commercial showing Olympic skiing champion Mikaela Shiffrin using a Range Rover to get to the top of a mountain so she can go downhill skiing - how is she going to get back to her Range Rover?
The silver lining in this survey VW conducted is that it focused on present owners of monster wagons, not owners of other types of cars who are planning to buy monster wagons in the future. And people who buy monster wagons may be a majority, but when you look at what people own, a cursory census of the American highway will reveal many older sedans and hatchbacks still on the road - some dating back to the last century - as many Americans hold onto their cars longer in Donald Trump's precarious economy. But the scary thing about monster wagons is that they do account for a majority of new-vehicle sales and seem to have become entrenched in the ten-day auto sales reports; thus, they've become a permanent fixture on the road. And voting Trump out of office is not going to change that, given that most Americans tend to be morons no matter who's running the country.
But hey, soccer moms love their monster wagons, and pretty soon they'll all look like Lily Munster or Creepella Gruesome (Morticia Addams had Lurch to chauffeur her), and I don't know of any wooden stake or silver bullet that can kill these ugly four-wheeler gas guzzlers. When it comes to the American road, it's clearly a monster wagon driver's world; the rest of us are unable to see the road up ahead in it.
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