Terror Cell Hoax

Okay, I'm a moron. But not as big a moron as the Attorney General.

Remember that "terror cell" of men in Miami who were arrested for plotting to blow up the Sears Tower in Chicago - the tallest building in North America even before 9/11 - and federal buildings in Miami and elsewhere? And how they were planing to wage ad hominem attacks against Americans? Well, it turns out they had no explosives, no weapons, and even no plans. Their connections to al-Qaeda were nonexistent. And yet the media played up the danger posed by these seven guys - all black, by the way - as threats to national security. They weren't even a threat to their neighbors. The septet turned out to be a bunch of delusional nitwits who, it would seem, pretended to be terrorists the way white suburban paintball players pretend to be soldiers. But at least paintball players can shoot straight. These clowns in Miami can't even think straight! Someone connected to them said something about trying to start a Bible army, which sounds more benign than the Kiss army.

This was a dangerous terror cell?

Sears Tower workers, it turns out, were never in danger of being attacked. Although U.S. 41 provides a direct route to Chicago from Miami, these seven nimrods couldn't even find Miami on a map, much less Chicago. Nevertheless, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales achieved a great deal by depicting these guys as dangerous. First of all, he scared people. Secondly, he gave himself the opportunity to reassure these same scared people that the Bush administration is doing everything it can to keep Americans safe and secure.

Meanwhile, eight people in Newark, N.J. were murdered this past Sunday. >:-(