A Dozen Things To Love About America

Noted curmudgeon Paul Fussell once wrote that there's one day America should receive nothing but praise - this day, July 4. In that spirit, Gentleman's Quarterly magazine has a list in their current issue of 62 things to love about America. Some of their choices were defensible, some less so, others downright kitschy. In keeping the with the Fussellian spirit of the day, I have decided to make my own list of things to love about America, though I'll keep it down to twelve. I don't have time for 62. So here it goes. Here are a dozen things to love about America:

Jazz. Jazz is wonderfully complicated, intricately arranged musical form that is this country's gift to the world. It's just about the only high art that originated in These States, and the world is a better place because of folks like Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Dizzy Gillespie, Pat Metheny, and Miles Davis.

Larry McMurtry. McMurtry's fascinating novels on the American West in the nineteenth century are an even greater necessity for understanding this country than John Wayne movies or Marty Robbins records.

Woody Allen. Though Woody still makes movies at a steady pace, his masterpieces are fewer and farther between these days. But given his unique, personal, Noo Yawk style of film-making, Allen at his worst is still more entertaining and thought-provoking than Hollywood at its best these days. Now imagine what Allen at his best is like - you'll appreciate all his movies even more.

The Cadillac CTS. On a rebound after years of making cars that symbolized everything that was wrong with America, Cadillac has reaffirmed people's faith in American engineering and design with its zippy compact sports sedan. The CTS's timing couldn't have been more perfect, as Japanese sports sedans look ever more undistinguished and German entries are beginning to slip in quality and prestige. The CTS may be the best luxury sports sedan not just in the U.S., but in all the world.

Chicago. Chicago is my kind of town indeed. With its graceful skyscrapers, the hustle and bustle of the Loop, neighborhoods as colorful as New York's but with a feel similar to small towns elsewhere in the Midwest, and its magnificent Grant Park with the immense Buckingham Fountain (based on the Bassin de Latona in Versailles but doubled in size - take that, you frogs!) as its centerpiece, Chicago is the archetypal American city. Plus, it has some great restaurants.

Baseball. Criticized by some (including my mom) as being too slow, too boring, and too laid-back, baseball remains an emotional sport that won't die no matter how much Bud Selig tries to kill it. Its methodical rules of play and its emphasis on teamwork - plus the fact that it doesn't require a lot of contact and bases its scoring on base running rather than goal posts or nets - make it a unique, pastoral game. It's also our hottest export. Some might say English cricket is more sophisticated, but dig this. Lots of kids in Latin America and Japan have long wanted to grow up to be another Mickey Mantle or Derek Jeter. How many of them wanted to grow up to be another Denis Compton?

A hamburger, fries, and Coke. Best appreciated in a diner or, if your hometown is still lucky enough to have one, a sweet shop. Don't even bother with McDonald's.

Rock and roll. What started in Memphis has become the world's greatest popular music form. It's in danger of disappearing, though, thanks to the pervasive influence of hip-hop, so enjoy it while you can.

Walter Cronkite. Sorry, Bob, Brian, and Peter, but that's the way it is. Your careers are merely halfhearted attempts to imitate the man who made television journalism something other than an oxymoron.

Winslow Homer paintings. The realism and frankness in his work still stand up favorably against the work of the French Impressionists of the same age.

Ivy League schools. At a time when "universities" like Bob Jones, Texas A&M, and Oral Roberts seem hellbent on debasing the word, bear in mind that most of the best universities in the world - Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, Cornell, Brown, and Columbia - are American. That should make the existence of places like Nova University in Fort Lauderdale, Florida much easier to swallow.

The First Amendment. Tomorrow I'll go back to dissing Bush, mocking Congress, belittling my fellow countrymen for their materialism and intellectual impoverishment, and complaining about the sorry state of the national men's field hockey team, and I can do so because of the First Amendment to the Constitution, right at the beginning of the Bill of Rights. Dig?

Happy Birthday, America! :-)