Our Long Literary Nightmare Is Over

First the bad news - Madonna has come out with another children's book. Now, the good news - It's her last one.

Her last assault on the impressionable minds on young readers is a story about a man with a great deal of money who loses it all but gains a friend. The book's title - and the character's name - is "Lotsa de Casha." Oh, how clever! What a brilliant pun! How long did it take Madge to dream up that doozy?

Her publishing company explains it's a fable giving a new twist to the maxim that money can't buy happiness. HAR HAR HAR! Madge is clearly counting on readers with slightly more maturity than she not to catch on to the fact that she has so much money she can afford to live in London and Los Angeles without foreclosure fears, take a jumbo jet across the ocean as if it were a crosstown bus, afford health insurance (especially as a prominent member of the SAG and AFTRA unions, even though her acting and television and radio "art" don't justify her union cards), and pay red-dee-culously low taxes! And who's paying for all this? The bubbleheaded teenage girls who bought her unlistenable records back in the eighties and have since become the desperate housewives buying her children's books for their daughters!

My advice, if you have kids: wait for Paul McCartney's children's book due this fall. Please! :-O