I was born in Montclair, New Jersey, a suburb of Newark, though I have never actually lived in Montclair. In fact, I live in a town nearby, which feels like a small Midwestern town that was plopped into the Northeast at random.
Montclair's residents, past and present, have included an Oscar-winning actress, a songwriter who wrote Stephanie Mills' biggest hit, an MSNBC political commentator, the current host of CBS's "The Late Show," a CNBC anchor, and a Dutch supermodel.
Montclair's most famous resident was one of the first two men on the moon, who took part in planting the American flag on the lunar surface.
Who's my hometown's most famous resident? A fascist hangin' judge who wrote the Dobbs decision on abortion and who has flown the American flag upside down to express his belief that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump!
Well, G. Gordon Liddy might actually be more famous . . . he came from my hometown too!
I have a lot of paper bags . . . I don't know whether to use them to wear over my head in public or barf in them.
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