John Lennon and Yoko Ono: Unfinished Music No. 1 - Two Virgins (1968)

Everyone made such a big deal out of the cover of the first long player in John Lennon and Yoko Ono's Unfinished Music trilogy showing them naked as jaybirds that no one thought much to comment on the contents of said long player. 

Probably because there isn't much to comment about about.

My issue with Two Virgins is not that it's an album of collages of random sound.  My issue is that it's a dull album of collages of random sound.  John and Yoko spent their first night together as lovers making silly noises and playing instruments rudimentarily into a tape recorder before, well, doing it, and the reticence they had prior to their first intimate act showed in the aimlessness of the contents of the tapes.  All right, I'll cut to the chase - this record is boring.  

Paul McCartney, who was actually the first Beatle to explore collages of sound, gave Lennon and Ono his support with the quote, "When two Saints meet it is a humbling experience. The long battles to prove he was a Saint" - prominently displayed on the bottom of the album cover (though not as prominently displayed as what's in the cover photo).  But even though John found a partner he needed more than Paul, he still needed some pointers from Paul on how to make an interesting sound collage, whether with Yoko or with anyone, really.  Two Virgins has lots of weird sounds, alright, but it has nothing that makes you prick up your ears and pay closer attention.  It's not so much musique concrète as it is Muzak concrète, an avant-garde din.

Two actual songs, "Together" and "Hushabye Hushabye," actually made it on this album.  In fact, they were playing on a radio in the background when John pressed Play on the tape recorded.  They're a distraction, not so much for the listener as for the artistes, who clearly made things up as they went along.  The two lovebirds eventually figured out what makes a sound collage work, as evidenced by the careful construction of "Revolution 9" when they and George Harrison created that epic track for the Beatles' White Album a month after this was recorded.  Say what you will about "Revolution 9," it was interesting . . . as were several tracks off John and Yoko's second Unfinished Music album, Life With the Lions, from 1969.  If John and Yoko wanted to try out making unfinished music together, fine.  But Two Virgins sounds like like what the title suggests: two people trying to make abstract music who don't know what they're doing.  Conclusion:  Wait for John's and Paul's 1967 piece "Carnival of Light" to come out instead.  

(Yes, I'm writing record reviews again, but not for long.  I just want to write a couple of quickie reviews and at least one more developed review before 2025 is out.  I hop to come up with more substantial record review in 2026.)