Make America Interesting Again

People as fantasy-obsessed and imaginative as Americans are supposed to be creative, and we Americans have come up with very creative ideas, such as science fiction movies, New Age philosophy,  and the sort of accounting documented in Mel Brooks' 1968 movie The Producers.  So how come we can't come up with more creative names for places, streets and landmarks?  Consider some of the names we've given to points on the American map:

We call that long island off the Connecticut coast "Long Island." 

The new place given to the Duke of York in 1664 is called "New York," and so is its largest city.

The river to the east of Manhattan is called the East River, and the fifth avenue west of the river is called . . . Fifth Avenue.

The white house in Washington where the President lives is called the "White House."

The main street of many a town in America is called "Main Street" - the name of 7,644 streets.

There are 8,926 streets, avenues, drives, and whatnot named Park. My hometown has three of them - Park Avenue, Park Street, and Park Terrace.

Each successive east-west road north of downtown Detroit was named to give people an idea of how far they were from the center of town - hence, Six Mile Road, Seven Mile Road, Eight Mile Road (Detroit's northern boundary), Nine Mile Road, and so on . . . all the way up to Thirty-Seven Mile Road.     

How many streets in Atlanta are named Peachtree?  71.  

The state carved out of the western part of Virginia is called "West Virginia."

There's a great salt lake in Utah called the "Great Salt Lake."

A union station - a railway station  serving lines from multiple companies - is usually called "Union Station." 

The old Pennsylvania Railroad named all of its stations "Pennsylvania Station" except for its main station in Pennsylvania.  Philadelphia's station, along  Thirtieth Street, is called "Thirtieth Street Station."  The Reading Railroad's terminal in Philadelphia was named "Reading Terminal." 

How far do street numbers get extended out of town?  Here's 320th Street in northeastern Iowa.

Dude, this is boring.  We gotta come up with some new names for places.

If only Belmar, New Jersey, had come up with a better name for E Street before Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band was formed.     

I'd come up with more examples, but I haven't enough bandwidth.