Rock and Roll Uphill

I feel sorry for today's rock and roll bands, the ones just starting out. Because the popularity of hip-hop, dance pop, and electronica has stacked the deck against them so badly. 

If a band is really good, chances are it won't get signed to a major label. Due to rock having lost most of its audience to all of those newer pop forms, most if not all major record labels aren't interested in signing a new rock band.

If this rock band does get signed to a major label, the chances of it getting noticed, never mind praised, by the critics are awfully slim.

If this band does get universal acclaim from critics, it's still not likely to get radio play.

If it does get radio play, it's still unlikely to see its debut single get into the Top Ten.

If this band does get a Top Ten hit, it's still a better-than-even bet against its debut album going platinum.

Even if its debut album does go platinum, the idea of such a record going multiplatinum is preposterous.

Even if its debut album does go multiplatinum, the follow-up LP will likely stiff.

Even if the follow-up is another huge hit, it's not likely to be nominated for an Album of The Year Grammy. 

Even if the second album is nominated for an Album of The Year Grammy, it's not likely to win.

Even if the second album does win the Album of The Year Grammy, the band's members are likely to be absent because they didn't expect to win when so many hip-hop and straight pop albums had also been nominated. 

And even if the band members are on hand to receive their Grammys, it's still inevitable that they'll walk on stage and accept their awards, the lead singer will then step to the microphone and begin to thank the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences . . . and then Kanye West will jump up, grab the microphone, and insist that Beyoncé should have won the Album of the Year Grammy instead . . . even if Beyoncé didn't have an album out to be nominated.

And that's when I'll really feel sorry for this rock and roll band.