Political Corrections

How to be politically correct in 2014, as overheard in this conversation:

"I know an interracial couple.  He's white, she's black."

"African-American."

"What?"

"The correct term is 'African-American.'  She's not black, she's African-American."

"She is not!"

"Why not?"

"Because she's from Toronto.  Does than mean she's African-Canadian?"

"Well, in Canada, Canadians of African descent are mostly referred to as Black Canadians."

"Why do we say 'African-American?'"

"PC."

"I don't have a personal computer, I have an IPad."

"No, PC means 'political correctness.'  You have to be politically correct to avoid offending people."

"Is that why someone yelled at me last week for saying the Pope was Italian?"

"Yes, the Pope is Latino."

"But he was born in Argentina to a father who immigrated there from Italy and a mother of Italian origin.  So, he's an Italian ethnic."

"He's an Argentine."

"Isn't that 'Argentinian?'  And wouldn't he be an Italian-Argentine? Or an Italian-Argentinian?"

"I think he's just an Argentine.  Or an Argentinian.  He's a non-Italian pope."

"So he's an Italian non-Italian?"

"Well, now he lives in the Vatican, so he'd be a Vaticanian."

"My brother is married to a woman of a different race.  She's Oriental."

"No, 'Asian.'  'Oriental' is an offensive term."

"But 'Oriental' means 'Eastern.'  She's Chinese.  China is in eastern Asia."

"Well, does she call you Occidental?  Are 'Western' movies called 'Occidental' movies?"

"I went to the multiplex theater to see a documentary about Islam, but I walked into a cowboy movie.  It was an Occident."

"Did you eventually get to see the documentary about Islam?"

"Yeah, I learned about the Eid holiday."

"The U.S. Postal Service issued a stamp for the Eid holiday."

"A stamp? Eid?"

"Where? Where?"

"What?"

"Where's the stampede?"

"No, no, I asked about the stamp for Eid.  The Eid stamp."

"Oh, yeah, there's an Eid stamp issued by the Postal Service. I thought you said there was a stampede.  We are in Calgary, after all."

"There was a stampede in that cowboy movie."

"Oh."

"Let's go eat.  I know of a good restaurant in the African-American neighborhood."

"No.  It's not an African-American neighborhood.  We're in Canada, remember?"