The Sound of Failure

The most recent available ratings data for NBC's Thursday night prime-time lineup has caused me to revisit the issue, as it is an increasingly grave concern for any folks at the Not Broadcasting Competently network who value their jobs and any TV viewer who likes "Parenthood," which airs at 10 PM Eastern that night.  Because the network's ratings for its Thursday night lineup took a turn for the worse.  The very worse.   No network has ever had ratings as low as NBC's ratings for November 21 - the last Thursday before Thanksgiving - for any Thursday night.  In fact, NBC's ratings for November 21 were so bad, the network finished sixth for the night.

WHAT?????????????  Sixth?  How is that possible?  Because, in addition to the four major broadcast networks, there's also the CW semi-network, aimed at teenagers, as well as the Spanish-language networks that we silly Anglos keep forgetting about.  NBC actually finished behind the CW and Univision - again, not Telemundo, NBC's sister network (or red hermana), but Univision.  Meanwhile, all of NBC's shows on that night - including "Parenthood" - tied or set a new record for their lowest ratings ever.    

But why?  Without getting into too much detail, here's why:  "Parks and Recreation," while a clever sitcom, has never been a huge hit, yet it was chosen to kick off Thursday nights for NBC as if it were "The Cosby Show," although it's too subtle and low-keyed for the task.  "Welcome To the Family," already canceled, has been replaced by - whoopee! -  a second helping of "Parks and Recreation."  "Sean Saves the World," the last time I checked, still stars Sean Hayes.  "The Michael J. Fox Show?"  Its failure astonishes me.  It's a sweet, lively domestic sitcom for anyone who cares to watch it, and it deserves a larger audience, but even if it doubles its audience size, there would probably be only two people watching.  In fact, its ratings are so bad, I expect Michael J. Fox to say, just before a commercial break, "Don't go away, Steve - we'll be right back."

Oh yeah,  "The Michael J. Fox Show"  scored a 0.9 rating on November 21 against CBS's show in the same 9:30 PM Eastern slot - the insufferable "Two and a Half Men," which had a 2.1 rating.  In the eighties, Michael J. Fox was a big star and Jon Cryer was one of those annoying young actors you tried to avoid at all costs.  Also, Cryer was usually the fourth or fifth choice for any movie role Michael J. Fox was unable to accept due to prior commitments.  To see Cryer - and Ashton Kutcher - make more money than any other current sitcom star while Michael J. Fox's show is becoming the Comeback That Never Was is utterly nauseating. 

Which brings us to "Parenthood."  Although I was thrilled to learn that NBC moved it to a night when I am usually home, and so therefore I don't have to record it, its Thursday night time slot has proven to be a curse.  Already hobbled by having to go against ABC's red-hot "Scandal" and CBS's respectably performing "Elementary," "Parenthood" is forced to air with no early-prime sitcom audience to draw from whatsoever.   If NBC wanted to get rid of this show, they're doing a good job of it.  "Parenthood" star Craig T. Nelson recently complained rather publicly about what he perceived to be NBC's lack of support for the show, despite the fact that it got a full 22-episode season for the first time in its history; the rescheduling has to be what Nelson was referring to.

Future episodes of "Parenthood," we are told, will bring back John Corbett as Sarah's ex-husband and Jason Ritter as Sarah's ex-boyfriend, a move some cynics might see as a pathetic attempt to save the show.  It isn't; it's realistic.  (Ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends should be expected to return to a woman's life, because that's what they do.  Fans of "The Golden Girls" will recognize this as the Stanley Zbornak Rule.)  But the only real recourse to save "Parenthood" is to either return it to Tuesdays or move it to another night.  (Again, "Parenthood"'s producers should consider themselves lucky that  a) the show has a lot of goodwill and a loyal audience and b) Fox and the CW don't air anything in the 10 PM Eastern hour.)  The way things are going for NBC on Thursdays, the network ought to consider running broadcast premieres of theatrically released movies on that night.

And this Thursday, December 5?  NBC is airing a live production of the classic musical "The Sound of Music" - at three hours in length, it conveniently pre-empts its regular Thursday lineup - with country singer Carrie Underwood as Maria von Trapp.   

As for the network's overall performance, it does have a hit with the James Spader drama "The Blacklist" on Mondays, and it's garnered respectable numbers overall in the 18-49 crowd, but the jury's still out as to whether it can climb out of fourth place by May.  Bearing all that in mind, it makes sense that NBC is airing a live special theater production starring the woman who recorded "Jesus Take the Wheel."  I've never seen a TV network in need of a messiah this badly.