God, Mother Nature, and Rock and Roll

Rock and roll's decline has made God and His sister, Mother Nature, feel bad. 

*

"God?"

"Yes, sis?"

"Are you upset with me because I destroyed the Jersey Shore with that monster storm I created?  Because it was only an experiment, I didn't think it could go so horribly wrong.  And I didn't know it was going to help that guy Christie so much!"  

"No, no, I forgive you, sis.  Even deities like us can make a mistake.  Look at me, I created tobacco."

"So why are you down in the dumps?"

"It's about how I created rock and roll."

"Oh yeah, I've seen those cool T-shirts, the ones that say, 'And on the eighth day, God created rock and roll.'"

"It was actually on the ninth day, but never mind that.  I'm depressed because I created it, but now it's in trouble.  Look what's happened to it.  Not enough people care about it any more."  

"Well, that's not your fault, is it?  Humans also have free will to do whatever you want with what you give them."

"I shouldn't have given male Caucasians so much self-importance and not enough rhythm.  Because look at what they've done to rock and roll.  As soon as they got it from black people, they homogenized it.  They tore the heart out of it, made it more banal, made it less substantial.  Either they lightened up the music and made it more laid-back and called it 'soft rock,' or they turned it into unlistenable electric noise and called it 'heavy metal.'  But the art rockers in England - they were the worst!"

"Really?"

"Sis, as sure as your name is Mother Nature, you haven't heard bad rock and roll until you've heard Yes's Tales From Topographic Oceans!  It's an eighty-one-minute song based on a superficial understanding of the Shrastic Scriptures."

"Sounds pretentious."  

"It is.  Even worse, you've had guys like Pat Boone, the Osmonds, all ripping off black music . . ..  They ruined rock and roll.  And white men in America complain about all the rock stations going off the air and being forced to listen to hip-hop, disco, and Taylor Swift!  They deserve it!  I gave rock and roll to them, gave rock and roll to them, put it in the soul of everyone, and they let it go to pot like that?  I hope they're happy with the damage they caused!"

"God, I have a confession to make."

"What is it?"

"I let that hurricane hit New York and New Jersey so those aging white rock and rollers who won't retire would stage a benefit concert.  I wanted to hear them play one last time before they die."

*

Rock and roll will die first.