Lady Beyoncé and Peiping Tom

Would Beyoncé let her famous husband Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter kill off all of rock radio? Here's my take on the idea, in dialogue form.

"Say, what's that?"

"I've never seen the likes of that before."

"Me, neither."

"It's not every day you see Beyoncé riding naked on a horse without a saddle!"

"Bareback."

"That's not all that's bare!" 

"So what the heck is Beyoncé doing riding naked through the streets of Poughkeepsie, anyway?"

"Wow, she's hot!"

"Ahh, she's all hair and eyeliner."

"Don't care, she's still hot!"

"You ought to be ashamed of yourselves, you young whippersnappers!"

"Peiping Tom?  What are you doing here?"  

"Curb your enthusiasm, Sparky.  Beyoncé is riding naked through town because of a dare Jay-Z made with her."

"What dare?"

"You haven't heard, Slick?  Jay-Z bought the local rock station, the last rock station in America, and he wants to change the format to hip-hop/R&B."

"WHAT?????????????"

"Well, Beyoncé objected, telling him that even white guys in upstate New York who get totally wasted on Saturday nights deserve something to listen to on terrestrial radio, so he promised her he'd leave the format as is - if she rode naked through Poughkeepsie!"     

"Cool!"

"You cucumber, she's doing this for you, so why don't you kids show some gosh darn respect - and turn your backs so as not to look at her until she's passed by?"

"Doesn't that take the fun out of it?"

"Now, kids!  Turn your darn backs before she changes her mind and you have to listen to L'il Wayne for the next ten years!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Kids, I think you just turned 180 degrees in record time!  All right, now you wait until she's passed!"  

TEN MINUTES LATER 

"Okay, boys, Beyoncé is gone.  You can turn your heads now." 

"If Jay-Z weren't such a mean-looking bastard, I'd give her a hug.  She saved our radio station!"

"Hooray!"

"By the way, Peiping Tom, how did you get your nickname?"

"I lived in Beijing in the 1930s, when it was called Peiping. My parents were missionaries there." 

"Let's celebrate keeping our rock station with some Chinese food, guys!  How about some Peking duck?"

"Shouldn't that be Beijing duck?"

"Don't be a dweeb."   

Multiculturalism. :-p