Hawkeye Piercing

Are the Iowa caucuses tomorrow? Good, I'm getting sick of hearing about them, and quite frankly, I'm getting sick of hearing about Iowa. Maybe it's only because it's strictly a Republican contest this time, but that's a pretty good reason. Iowa Republicans are an extremely conservative lot (to be fair, Iowa Democrats are just as liberal), and so the caucus campaign is heavily focused on social issues like abortion and family planning, making us Americans look more unsophisticated and heathen-like in the international media than we already are.

Iowa may be seen as irrelevant in the nominating process after this election, especially if Mitt Romney (whom I believe will be the eventual Republican nominee) doesn't win. After all, the state is overwhelmingly white and overwhelmingly rural, and the last time that counted for anything was when Barack Obama won the Democratic caucuses there in 2008 and proved that an urban black candidate could win there and thus win anywhere. But the state is nonetheless too homogenous to count as a bellwether in any other circumstances. Besides, the state's economy is based on corn and corn by-products, which are a reason for why so many Americans are so grossly fat. I don't think Iowans are going to be so supportive of the President in November when they figure out that his wife's healthy eating initiative is bad for their business.

I'm sure Iowans have made several worthy contributions to civilization, and when I think of any, I'll list them here. Right now, I can only think of that sculptor who carved a statue of Jesus out of butter. Iowa isn't even politically relevant beyond the caucuses - its only native son to become President was Herbert Hoover, and he left as a young man to attend Stanford (he was in its first graduating class), never to return.