Fly The Paranoid Skies

The Transportation Security Administration is stepping up its security measures to avoid a terrorist attack on airplanes by enforcing new and stricter searches at airports. Flyers now have two options - either get scanned with powerful X-ray cameras that see everything right down to your bloomers or get physically patted down on the verge of being groped by a security officer. Women have felt violated by the pat-downs, and even some men have felt so. Some men with dirty minds might look forward to being patted down be some cute female security officer; of course, what do they do if the female officer makes a Russian female shotputter look like a Victoria's Secret model? Run for the X-rays, no doubt!

The House of Representatives recently voted against funding the scanners because they are incredibly invasive and don't really help to keep us safe. The Homeland Security Department ignored he House action and spent stimulus money on scanners anyway. In a related story, one group has objected to the scanners and urged flyers on Thanksgiving weekend to boycott the X-rays and opt for the pat-downs, which would take longer and slow down the boarding process. That is exactly how they plan to make their point about the indignity of the security procedures at airports - by slowing things down. The pat-downs, though, are just as troublesome. One flyer who opted for the pat-down objected to the groping nature of the procedure; now the TSA is investigating him.

Most of the TSA's safeguards are pure theater with no real effectiveness, but TSA administrator John Pistole has declared he is not going to change the airport boarding security measures. So, unless your family lives less than a thousand miles away, there's no real transportation alternative to flying home for the holidays. It would take too long for many people to drive home, and Amtrak is unreliable through no fault of its own no matter what distance you travel. So anyone who complains about having to go through such stringent security at the airport should just get used to it. They're going to put up with it to fly out to see their parents for the holidays, and they're going to like it, because it beats the alternative - staying home and visiting the in-laws! :-D