Movin'

My oh my, a lot of folks are movin' up and movin' out these days, aren't they?

After pleading guilty to espionage, the ten Russian spies apprehended a couple of weeks ago were sent home and traded for four Russian spies working for the West. Alas, despite numerous pleas from single guys, we did not keep Anna Chapman. New Jersey's planted spies, Richard and Cynthia Murphy - their real names are Vladimir and Lydia Guryev - also returned home with their children. The daughters, Lisa and Kate - whose real names are Lisya and Ekaterina, I assume - are in for some big-time culture shock after growing up American. No one in Russia knows who Hannah Montana is, and I doubt Russians know or care who SpongeBob SqaurePants is. The Murphy - Guryev - sisters, having learned their ABCs, now have to learn their A Б Bs.

Basketball star LeBron James finally announced that he's leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers to play for the Miami Heat, dealing a death blow to the economic lifeblood of a city that's only begun to recover from the loss of tourist business from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a result of Madonna's induction. The bad news is that a lot of LeBron James/Cavaliers jerseys have been burned in Cleveland as a form of protest. The good news is that the Cuyahoga River hasn't been set ablaze as well. A friend of mine who lives in Newark, New Jersey - a long way away from Cleveland or Miami - has declared herself a Heat fan. Well, at least she's rooting for an individual and not the uniform. (As Jerry Seinfeld once said, sports fans root for clothes.) Now the heat is on the Heat to win a championship, something that's eluded James in his career. With an increasingly well-paid cadre of all-stars to its credit, the Heat - I hate singular names for sports teams - are the New York Yankees of basketball. That's not a compliment. The Yankees are hated intensely too.

Speaking of sports, the World Cup soccer third-place match was held today, and Germany defeated Uruguay two to one, insuring a European sweep of the top three positions, as Spain plays the Netherlands for the championship tomorrow. One team will move to the winner's spot. Neither team has won the Cup before.

Many supporters of Major League Soccer in the United States, though, are afraid that the U.S. team's relatively early exit has dampened interest in the final, and that few people in this country will watch it. Americans don't care that the Dutch team has reached the World Cup finals for the first time since 1978 or that Spain has reached them first time ever. All Americans care about is that we never have. And I doubt ethnic pride can help the ratings very much because very few Americans of a Spanish-speaking ethnic background trace their roots to Spain itself, and most Americans of Dutch descent have been so assimilated for decades, they don't see themselves as Dutch at all. Well, maybe Eddie Van Halen and his brother Alex will tune in.

Might as well jump. :-)