Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Do The Razz

The 2010 Golden Raspberry Award Foundation for the worst movies and movie performances of all time have been announced, and surprisingly, Nia Vardalos, the Peter Frampton of comedy, is not among them - despite putting out two movies last year.
Even more surprising is that Sandra Bullock is a nominee, despite getting a best actress Oscar nomination (more about the Oscars later) for her role in The Blind Side, about a white Southern woman who takes in a black teenager and helps him turn his life around and sees him go on to the NFL. Her worst actress Razzie nomination is for All About Steve, a movie in which Bullock plays a lovesick crossword puzzle editor who obsesses over a news cameraman and follows him everywhere. Never heard of it? A lot of people didn't, until the Razzie nominations were announced.
All About Steve got a worst picture nomination, as did Land of the Lost (based on the seventies Saturday morning TV show of the same name, which truly sucked), Old Dogs (starring Robin Williams and John Travolta, both of whom jumped the shark some time in the late nineties), and two action movies made for twelve-year-old men of all ages, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
Steve Martin got a worst actor nomination for his role as Inspector Clouseau in Pink Panther 2, a sequel to his original remake, which flopped. So many people must have felt taken in by the first Martin Pink Panther movie that they weren't about to fall for the same scam again. Will Ferrell got one for Land of the Lost. But get this - the Jonas Brothers were nominated for a concert movie. I've always said they'd be the Bee Gees of the twenty-first century; this must be their equivalent to the Sgt. Pepper movie (which also starred Peter Frampton). Alas, that deathless classic was released in 1978, two years before the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation was even founded, so it never won a Razzie.
For worst actress, Sarah Jessica Parker joined Sandra Bullock for Did You Hear About The Morgans?, a movie no one heard about. Miley Cyrus got nominated as well for playing the title role in Hannah Montana movie, even as her father Billy Ray got nominated for worst supporting actor in the same film. Keep it the family. Beyoncé Knowles was nominated for Obsessed, but she isn't likely to win, if only because her husband is Jay-Z, and the artist legally known as Shawn Carter isn't someone the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation would want to mess with. (He is one big nasty dude!) I would have to root for someone other than Sandra Bullock to get the worst actress movie, if only because she's finally being taken seriously as an actress by the Motion Picture Academy, and a dubious award like this one is the last thing she needs.
Wait! Why am I wasting my time reciting all of these nominees? You can check them out here. They have all sorts of categories - worst acting, worst screenplay, worst direction (All About Steve seems to have cleaned up) but no categories for worst song or worst score. This means that Peter Frampton could write film music and never have to worry about being nominated - though Miley Cyrus will remain a Razzie favorite, it appears, if she keeps up with her acting, which is, I'm led to understand, no better than her singing. So enjoy perusing the latest Razzie nominations and remember - you might be miffed that true talents like Steve Martin and Sandra Bullock are among them, but even esteemed actors are human and make mistakes. And no matter how bad the Jonas Brothers's concert movie turned out, I expect them to have a long and prosperous musical career.
Unlike Peter Frampton.

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