What's the Matter With Charlie Sheen?

Is there anyone as deranged as Charlie Sheen?

How about the women who marry him?

By now, we've all heard the story of Martin Sheen's less talented son and how he threatened his wife, Brooke Mueller, with a knife after she expressed her desire for a divorce. Now Mueller says she and her husband hope to save the marriage. If I were a woman, I'd say - no, I'm just going to say it, I don't need to be a woman to say it - I say she should leave the jerk.

It's become apparent that Charlie Sheen is Holywood's biggest spoiled brat. He somehow commands the highest salary of any sitcom star today, despite the fact that "Two and a Half Men" - in which he plays a hedonist with a cushy job - doesn't require him to do much acting. He was guaranteed employment for three more seasons after the show was renewed for that length last year, and if the "Two and a Half Men" (hopefully) ends in 2012, he'll never have to work again. And yet Sheen is always ready to throw it all away at any minute.

For the time being, Sheen's wife and sons are staying in Colorado while he returns to Los Angeles to "work" on his situation "comedy." A restraining order has been placed against him. It was necessary, obviously, because when has Charlie Sheen ever voluntarily shown any restraint in any circumstance?