It's Only a Movie

At a time when ICE is murdering people in the streets of Minneapolis and threatening to take their road show elsewhere, Donald Trump is promoting the allegedly long-awaited documentary on his wife.

Melania Trump is particularly in a bad mood because of what is happening in Minneapolis, and not because two people have been brutally murdered.  She's upset because all of the brouhaha there is overshadowing to the premiere of her documentary this week.

I've seen other examples of heartless callousness before, but this takes the kremšnita.

Melania, it must be remembered, is as much a grifter as her husband is.  And like Donald, she only cares about herself and has only one purpose, to make as much money as she can before she dies.  The only reason this documentary exists is because Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, looking to mend fences with her husband, offered $40 million to produce such a film.  In exchange, Bezos expected from Trump - and got - relief from Trump's threats to raise postal rates that would affect Amazon's bottom line, and - more important to Bezos - a chance to get some really lucrative contracts (*cough cough*, Blue Origin, *cough cough*).  Bezos ended up spending 75 million simoleons on the movie, with the additional $35 million for marketing.

Now the movie is premiering nationwide tomorrow, and it's already a flop.  Tickets for advance sales have sold so poorly, the theaters can't even give them away.   People are posting on social media things they'd rather do than watch Melania, such as prepare for a colonoscopy, have their wisdom teeth taken out, or watch the 1978 Sgt. Pepper movie twice (and I've already done all three!).  Melania is likely to be the be the lowest-grossing movie of all time, grossing even less money than Zyzzyx Road, a 2006 thriller that only took in thirty dollars in a very limited theatrical release.  But then, it starred Katherine Heigl. 

Melania, by all accounts, is likely to win a Razzie award for playing herself.  As for Jeff Bezos, he got what he wanted, and the $75 million he spent to get influence Trump is just pocket change for a multibillionaire like him.   In the meantime, following a private screening at White House this past Sunday, Melania has its world premiere tonight at the Trump-Kennedy Center.  A slew of D-list celebrities are attending, and this premiere is likely to have all of the glamour of a home movie being shown in the family den, but who cares when all that mattered is to provide an outlet for lower-middle-class entertainment for the undereducated to appreciate?  That, of course, is nothing new for the Trump-Kennedy Center, which was a second-rate showbiz venue long before Trump added his name to it.

All that notwithstanding, Melania is sure to close in the theaters faster than a storm window in the current brutal cold snap that is currently gripping the Northeastern states (which still haven't seceded like I'd hoped).

Illegal and Disgusting

The title is a phrase from comments Donald Trump made about how he filed against the federal government as a private citizen during the Biden interregnum for . . . well, I don't know what he sued for, but never mind, "illegal" and "disgusting" are perfect adjectives for what Trump has done in the past 72 hours.

First, Trump's "Justice" Department "released" the Epstein files this past Friday as the law was supposed to require it to do, but it only released two percent of what is on file but redacted 90 percent of what was released.  So most of it looked like this:

But some material incriminating Trump managed to leak out because Pam Blondie somehow overlooked it, and though it was removed from the "Justice" Department's Web site.  But intuitive anti-Trump groups took screenshots of it anyway.

You probably didn't notice any of that, however, because Trump made a big deal out of this:

John F. Kennedy, unlike his wife, may have found Pablo Casals' music boring, and he may have preferred Dr. No to Jules and Jim, but he appreciated the performing arts enough to advocate for their promotion and their celebration.  Unlike John F. Kennedy, Trump places great importance on  entertainment value more than on artistic value, which is why he gave arts honors to some of the least deserving entertainers in the country, and his idea of an enjoyable show is professional wrestling or a UFC fight, which is planned to take place on the White House lawn sometime in the new year.   

Too bad the ballroom won't be ready by then.  That would be the perfect place to put it.

Once again . . . it's time for the United States to break up into separate countries.  I support the dissolution of the Union.  I am a secessionist.