Sarah For WHAT?

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is running for Governor of Arkansas.

Also, shingles can be prevented.

Her biggest qualification for the job is having been Donald Trump's press secretary.

I don't think I need to go on any further . . .

Sarah, Sarah . . . This Time Is a Good Time For Goodbyes!

Back in 2016, a lot of progressives wished to see Sanders in the White House.

But this wasn't what they had in mind.

Now, however, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is leaving her job at the end of the month, and I gather that the position will be eliminated because there are no press briefings from this administration any more.

Sarah has been hailed by her boss as a woman of honesty and transparency, and I wish I had a two-dollar bill for every time she lived up to those ideals.  Oh, wait - I do!  And I am not going to spend it!

Hey, I have a plastic dime slug that's worth more than Sarah's integrity.

Sarah, you will not be missed.  Tell your ma, tell your pa - gonna send you back to Arkansas!

And Bernie bros, next time you wish for something, don't just be careful what you wish for . . . be specific!  I wished for a hundred bucks once, now I have all of these deer eating my flowers!  

An Immodest Proposal Regarding Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who was the result of Bernie bros not being careful what they wished for when they said they wanted Sanders in the White House, got turned away from the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, Virginia when she went out to eat because the owner had a problem with Donald Trump.  On the heels of her expulsion from Red Hen, Democratic Representative Maxine Waters of California encouraged people to intimidate White House officials in public and deny them service in gasoline stations and department stores.

I assume that, since they can't get gas for their cars, they'll do their shopping online anyway.

This is wrong.  Just because you don't agree with or like the Trump people doesn't mean you have to harass them and make their lives hell. This is the equivalent of tripping up a street mime in front of the art museum.  It's cruel, it's mean, and the fact that Maxine Waters, who says and does a lot of things to get attention, endorses this idea means that it's dumb.  Besides, whenever you attack Trump and his supporters, you're only getting them angrier and feel more picked on, and so they'll double down on their support for him.  Look at me.  I supported Martin O'Malley for President, of course, and when everyone started telling me I was an idiot and my candidate was twerp, I doubled down on my support for O'Malley and got furious at his enemies.

And I swear, if they weren't Democrats . . .

Want another example, this one from popular culture?  How about all the rock fans like me, who felt put down and ridiculed by those rap fans who got angry when we were ticked off about Beyoncé's husband getting an Album of the Year Grammy nomination just because we don't think rap is music?  Or needled us for the fact that Beyoncé herself lost that award in 2015 to Beck?  (Again: They'll get my classic-rock CDs when they pry them from my cold, dead fingers.)

So here's what I propose.  If Sarah Huckabee Sanders and her husband want to go out to eat and they feel picked on and scorned just for going out in public . . .well, then, why don't they join me?

I'm serious.  I'd be happy to go out to dinner with them. Because, you see, I am against Trump and everything he stands for. But I, as a Trump opponent, would be pleased to take a Republican couple out to eat.  We don't even have to go to a fancy restaurant like the Red Hen, maybe one of those family places that are popular in Arkansas, the kind that serve milk with your entrée.  Besides, I understand they make a mean pot roast!  Yum, I haven't had that in ages.

So how about it, Mrs. Sanders?  A civil dinner with a Trump opponent in the restaurant of your choice.  I'll even pay the tab!  And we can talk about music; I understand your dad is a decent bass player.  Perfect: My presidential candidate is a decent guitarist!  Do you and your husband like Led Zeppelin?  Hey, I'll bet you're into Skynyrd!  Just as long as we don't talk about politics, but then, as an O'Malley supporter, I am, politically speaking, neutered and irrelevant! (For now, anyway.)

Sorry we can't double date, because I can't get a woman to accompany me.  It's not because no woman I know would be seen with you, it's because I have no love life.  You don't want to know the details.

And may I say this to the liberals who are still reading this blog post - both of them?  You can't complain how women in America are judged on the basis of their looks and then make fun of Sarah Huckabee Sanders because of . . . her looks!  

Failure to Communicate

Commenting on the Trump administration is like multitasking.  Just when you think you know what you're going to talk about, along comes another bombshell of a story to push aside (possibly for good) the story you were going to talk about previously.

This time it's the shakeup in the White House press office.  Anthony Scaramucci, a slick Italian-American Wall Street investment banker from Long Island who seems to live up to every negative stereotype about Italian-Americans from Long Island and Wall Street investment bankers, became the White House communications director in an effort to get Trump's White House on message.  (He can't get it back on message because it never was on message in the first place.)  He's the type of guy who worships Trump and is the consummate yes-man for his, umm, ideas.  Which means that Scaramucci will never have a disagreement with Trump, always assuming that Trump is right even when he's wrong (and he usually is).

This appointment infuriated White House press secretary Sean Spicer, who resigned.  (Sarah Huckabee Sanders, daughter of former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee and deputy White House press secretary, will replace Spicer.)  White House chief of staff Reince Preibus, also said to be frustrated with the yes-men around Trump, may be the next to go, though he is safe for now.  Indeed, Scaramucci will be less concerned with the staff and more concerned with how to spin the loss of one of Trump's lawyers as the investigation into his business dealings heats up - and Robert Mueller wants some answers about Trump's finances that Trump will likely fire Mueller over before he answers them.

And the Republican health care bill will have to include subsidized antacid for members of Congress.

As if all of this weren't enough, it was reported that Attorney General Jeff Sessions - whom Trump excoriated for recusing himself from the Russia investigation rather than showing the sort of loyalty that Trump craves -  is reported by the Washington Post to have discussed campaign-related matters, especially policy issues of concern to the Kremlin, with Sergey Kislyak, the Russian Ambassador to the U.S. Sergey Kislyak despite earlier insistences from Sessions that he did no such thing.

What we have here is a failure to . . . you know the rest.

I'm ready to give up commenting on Trump.  It's too much goshdarned work, and I'm not getting paid to do this blog.  (You probably figured that out from the typos that have slipped my attention in the past.)