Beijing Blahs

I was happy to see American Nathan Chen (below) win the gold medal in men's figure skating at the Beijing Winter Olympics.  I think the Elton John medley he skated to helped him with the judges. 😃 Ditto for Chloe Kim in women's halfpipe snowboarding.  And I just have to give a shout-out to Lindsey Jacobellis, the Dan Jansen of snowboarding, who finally won a gold medal in the women's snowboard cross and followed it up in the mixed-team snowboard event with another gold medal.

But these Winter Games have mostly been a bummer.  Shaun White finished his Olympic career with a disappointing fourth-place showing in the men's halfpipe snowboarding competition. (Even Jackie Joyner-Kersee managed to finish her Olympic career with  a bronze medal.)  Mikaela Shiffrin could do no better than place ninth in the women's Super G ski race.  And reminders of China's repression and zero-COVID policy are everywhere - not just with the absence of fans in the stands but also with a face-covering mandate so strict that people have to mask up outside - and so we get pictures like this! 

That's Mikaela Shiffrin - you only know that because I just told you - checking her Apple tablet while looking like she's about to fly a jet fighter or audition for a role in a Star Wars movie.

Well, maybe she can still win a medal in the downhill. 

Even without COVID, these Winter Games don't feel right.  You sense that even by watching them on TV, the way NBC covers it.  Everything is rigidly controlled by the Chinese, and the vibe among the competitors mostly reflects that.  The good cheer is more fake than the the snow.  And the commentary is more pat than usual.  What would you rather do - listen to Dan Hicks or pull your own teeth? Me, I'd rather pull Dan Hicks' teeth.

The coverage got so pat that, on Friday night, I was watching the mixed-team snowboard cross race . . . and I actually fell asleep. 😮

Enough.  I want my classic Winter Olympics back.  I want the Winter Games held in a small ski town up in the mountains in a remote area.  Preferably in a country whose government doesn't monitor its citizens with their own smartphones. I want the atmosphere to be so cozy that you can imagine the athletes and the fans hanging out together and having cocoa in a homey ski lodge - and you feel like you're there with them.  I want a twelve-day Winter Olympiad, not a sixteen-day one - sixteen-day Winter Olympiads are just an excuse to make more money.  I want fewer athletes - except for the Jamaican bobsled team, no more athletes from tropical climates! I want Mike Tirico to host the Winter Games from a studio with a fireplace - a real fireplace, not a fake one like the one Stephen Colbert sat in while a "fire" was going!  And unless climate change is really bad, I want . . . real snow!

In 2026, when the pandemic should be over, the Winter Olympics will be held in Italy - the outdoor events in Cortina d'Ampezzo and the indoor skating events in  Milan.   There won't be any restrictions, but the grandiosity of holding the Winter Games in two separate places a hundred miles apart doesn't give me much hope.  It may be too late for 2026 to have a classic Winter Olympiad.  But then, there's always 2030 . . .

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Seriously, what's wrong with it?

This is is one of the ski slopes being used for the skiing events at the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics.  Note that most of the snow appears magically on the course, and little anywhere else.

That's because all of the snow in Beijing being used for the Games is man-made.  The slopes are in an area northwest of the city formerly known as Peking that gets cold in the winter but it is very dry.  As much as 49 million gallons of water were used to create the artificial snow,  an in a part of China that is considered "water-stressed." 

It's not the first time artificial snow has been used in the Winter Olympics.  Given the unpredictability of winter weather, a condition that pre-dates climate change, some artificial snow has been used to supplement natural snow in snow-prone towns that have held the Winter Olympics, but not to replace the real thing - at least not on such a large scale as this.  And the large amount of snow being manufactured for the Beijing Winter Games is not only stressing the water supply, it's actually contributing to climate change, what with all of the energy needed to pull off such a grand escapade.  

Some athletes think it's perfect for skiing and snowboarding, while others think it's too icy and dangerous.  But even if it were the safest and most fun snow available, all of this fake snow is causing real problems for the environment.  China is already the biggest emitter of carbons on the planet; this cavalier attitude toward the natural environment for a silly sporting event does not help.   

Beijing Blues

So far, I've watched women's ski jumping, men's relay biathlon, long-track speed skating, women's 500-meter short-track speed skating, and men's 1000-meter short-track speed skating at the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics, and even though it's early and there are more events to come, so far the Winter Games have been bore-ing.

Of course, if I want some real excitement. there's always curling!

Though, somehow I don't think Christopher Plys (pictured above) will be drawing a lot of fans.

Let's face it.  The planet is still dealing with COVID.  China's zero-COVID policy is so strict that everyone has to wear face coverings even when they're outside and socially distanced (except for athletes in competition).  Obviously, there are no cheering fans in the stands.  Olympic organizers walking around in Hazmat suits remind me of a nuclear holocaust.  I'm so disinterested in these Games so far that I didn't even want to watch the opening ceremony Friday night.  Instead, I chatted on Facebook with one of my newest friends, a cousin I haven't seen in over thirty years.   Hey, family first!

And based on the brief clips of the opening ceremony that I have seen, I'm quite happy to have missed it.  I'm just glad that the reason I missed it had nothing to do with a power outage (we really didn't get a lot of ice).

One interesting tidbit I did find: Francesca Lollobrigida, who won the silver medal in the women's 3000-meter speed skating race and thus won the first medal for any Italian woman in speed skating, is actress Gina Lollobrigida's great-niece.   

I suppose that if something happens at the Winter Olympics that is so spectacular it will be impossible for anyone to ignore it, I'll comment on that. But it's hard for me to have much interest in these Games, given the controversy and restrictions.  Maybe later during these Winter Games, I'll be in more of a mood to offer my usual biting, satirical comments on them.  

But as with the end of the pandemic, I'm not there yet.

The Winter Olympics. Meh.

Depending on how this storm works out, I may or may not be here after tomorrow, but even if I manage to keep the lights on through the next few days, don't expect much commentary on the Winter Olympics in Beijing, which open tomorrow.  Oh, I'm sure there will be a couple of moments worth highlighting, but, given the very fact that they're going to be held in a country that should never have been awarded the Winter Olympics in the first place while COVID - which said country is responsible for - is raging, I expect the Winter Games to be something of a wet blanket.

Bear in mind that Beijing is the worst possible place to hold the Winter Olympics, and not because of the pandemic. Not only is the climate there wrong for outdoor winter sports such as skiing and bobsledding - the Chinese have to produce artificial snow for the ski events - and not only is Beijing an oversized metropolis in comparison to previous Winter Olympic towns like St. Moritz and Lake Placid, the Chinese are planning to monitor reporters and commentators going to Beijing to cover the Games.  And with COVID restrictions in China being as they are, in which the Chinese are aiming for a zero-COVID environment, the Big Brother ethos is likely to be more constricting.  What's worse, the International Olympic Committee had plenty of time, once COVID escaped China, once it became apparent that the Uighurs in Sinkiang were being persecuted and once it became clear that Xi Jinping had Taiwan in his gun sights, to move the Winter Olympics.  Holding them in Beijing now - especially just fourteen years after the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics - is rewarding the Chinese government for bad behavior.  And Bob Costas agrees.

"The IOC deserves all of the disdain and disgust for going back to China yet again," Costas (above) told CNN.  "They're shameless about this stuff. And so, this takes place not only amid COVID, but  . . . the restrictions on press freedom and the sense that everyone there is being monitored in some way."

Costas could have stopped there, but he went on. "We had that feeling in Beijing in 2008. If anything, it’s been ramped up now. It isn't just NBC. Any network that broadcasts big sports is simultaneously in a position of being quasi-journalistic at best. You're reporting on an event but you’re also promoting that event. News organizations like CNN don’t pay a rights fee to cover the White House. NBC pays a huge rights fee along with the production cost. They want people to watch it. It’s a centerpiece of the entire network strategy."

And of course we'll all watch, if only to get or minds off COVID, the weather, and anything Donald Trump says.  Well, we should still be paying attention to Trump.  Because when we look at China under Xi, we could be looking at America under Trump Mark Two. 

China's Reward?

It never ceases to amaze me how people are undeservedly rewarded for the damage they cause to civilization.  Why is Donald Trump still considered a leading contender for the Presidency in 2024 after having staged a near-coup back in January?  How did Rush Limbaugh get away with being awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom after using his power and influence to smother voices opposed to his political views?  How come Madonna got inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame after destroying the form by pushing her lightweight, oversexualized brand of pop and also promoting hip-hop?  And why, despite having started a pandemic that ruined everyone's lives- possibly for good - does the People's Republic of China still get to host the Winter Olympics? 

Chinese President Xi Jinping (above) has successfully gotten his country to evade blame for giving the world COVID, even though it originated in Wuhan due to either unsanitary conditions in a wet market or a botched experiment in a virology lab, and the Chinese government punished doctors who poke out about it even as they were letting the Chinese people get infected and allowing them to spread it to other parts of the world and create a pandemic - the word coming from the Greek words meaning "all people," because that's exactly who can get COVID now.   And thanks to Omicron, that may very well be who gets it.  And yet there Xi will be in February, presiding over the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing, a city that should never have gotten the Winter Games in the first place owing to the fact that it hosted the Summer Games as recently as 2008 and to its humungous size despite Winter Olympic locales usually being small towns in remote, snowy areas (northeastern China is neither).  Beijing only got the Winter Olympics because the International Olympic Committee was clearly afraid to cross China and the committee members really, really, really wanted to avoid giving the Winter Games to the only other bidder for 2022, Almaty.

Well, guess what!  Numerous countries, led by the United States, are not sending diplomats or government representatives to the Winter Olympics - not to protest the failure of China to contain COVID  but to protest China's treatment of Uighur Muslims in Xinjiang.  (Which is near the part of Kazakhstan where Almaty is.)   Take COVID out of the picture, b the way, and that would have been more than enough reason to instigate a diplomatic boycott.  Xi has vowed to revenge, but what more can he do after running up big trade deficits with everyone else and getting 273 million people and counting sick with SARS-on-steroids?  Oh, right, invade Taiwan. Well, if Xi does start a war, it's likely to be for something other than sour grapes over the empty seats for the diplomatic corps in the stands at the Winter Olympic opening ceremonies. Maybe he should pay attention to the empty seats in the stands for people who would have bought tickets to see the Winter Games in person - had it not been for COVID.

"Steve," you say, aren't you concerned that the Chinese government will ban your blog in China after what you've just said?"  Hah!  You think I care?  Facebook already bans it, so why should I mind if Xi does?

And yes, I still think it. 😉   

Nolympics 2020

Four years ago this time, I expected to be providing my usual satirical comments on about the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo.  But of course, I don't need to tell you again that the Games were postponed until 2021 as a result of COVID-19. Though, to be honest, the chances of this damn virus affecting the planet this time next year as it is now are, alas, pretty good, so it's possible if not likely that the Olympics will be canceled entirely - which would be the first time that's happened since 1944. 

I'm relieved, actually, because I tend to go over the top in my Olympic commentary in an effort to cover as many different events and competitions as possible, and it's quite exhausting.  And as you already may have gathered, I'm not very confident in Tokyo pulling the Games off in 2021, either.  Good grief, why are the Olympics being held in Tokyo exactly one year from now?  Bear in mind that 1940 Olympics and the 1964 Olympics were both given to Tokyo, and both were scheduled for early fall.  As with the 1944 Games, the 1940 event was canceled due to World War II; the 1964 Games were in Tokyo as planned.) This is because eastern Asia is known for lousy weather in the summer.  Not only that, the chances of getting the pandemic behind us ("us" meaning the seven billion-odd people on this planet) are much better for the autumn of 2021 than for the first three seasons of the year.

One other thing I'd like to say, despite the controversy it might cause, is that I think it's also time to move the 2022 Winter Olympics from Beijing.  China's leaders are wholly responsible for letting this virus escape their borders and infecting everyone else, and the Chinese leadership has to answer for that.  Also, Beijing already held the Summer Olympics only twelve years ago (2008), the city itself is in a less-than-ideal climate for winter sports, and unlike previous Winter Olympic cities, it's just too damn big for an event that is considerably smaller and more intimate than the main Olympiad.  Let Pyeongchang hold the Winter Games again, or better yet, give them to 2022 bidder Almaty in Kazakhstan - because why should Russia  be the only ex-Soviet republic that gets to hold the biggest international sporting event in the world?  (Sochi was ridiculous, given its mild climate and its inability to keep enough snow on the ground for the outdoor events.)  I know Trump is on record as supporting a move of the 2022 Winter Olympics to somewhere else, but I really don't mind agreeing with him on this issue.     

Go East, Young Athlete

With the 2016 Rio Olympics coming to a close soon, attention shifts east . . . far east.

The next three Olympiads, winter and summer, take place in eastern Asia, and in all three countries Americans once commonly referred to as the Orient - Korea, Japan and China, in that chronological order.   The 2018 Winter Olympics take place in Pyeongchang, South Korea, which is too small to be seen on this map but is about 110 miles east of Seoul.  It's already a ski resort town, so that makes sense.  The 2020 Olympics are to be held in Tokyo, which last hosted the Olympics in 1964.  I guess Tokyo is overdue for a repeat, but there's still the problem of the Fukushima nuclear power plant site being just up the coast. But given that the alternatives were Madrid and Istanbul - Spain has been mired in a big recession, and there was the proximity of Istanbul to Syria at a time when it was becoming apparent that the Syrian civil war wasn't going to end any time soon - it still made sense.

But Beijing hosting the 2022 Winter Olympics so soon after it hosted the 2008 Summer Games?  

You know, the Chinese have a lot of damn gall wanting to host another Olympiad in the same city only fourteen years after hosting the first one.  They couldn't wait awhile and give someone else a chance?  I know, I know, Innsbruck, Austria hosted the Winter Games twice within twelve years - 1964 and 1976 - but it hosted the 1976 Winter Games in an emergency after the residents of the original city of choice - Denver - said no to the bonds necessary to make the Winter Olympics happen.  And, of course, the Americans hosted the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta a mere twelve years after Los Angeles hosted the 1984 Summer Games. That shouldn't have happened either, something then-IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch acknowledged with great subtlety once the Atlanta Games ended, refusing to call them the greatest Games ever at the closing ceremony, as had been his custom at previous Summer Games closing ceremonies.  (Atlanta is Los Angeles with more cars and fewer health nuts.)  So why go back to Beijing so soon?

Oh yeah, another thing.  Winter Olympic cities tend to be smaller places, since the Winter Games have fewer countries and fewer athletes. Winter Olympiads tend to be, in comparison to the regular ones, cozy and intimate, like a comfortable ski lodge. Beijing, home to 21.7 million people, is not a cozy or intimate city. Unlike Pyeongchang, it's not hard to find on a map.

As it turns out, the logistics and the cost of staging even the Winter Games have gotten so out of hand that, when it was time to decide on a site for the 2022 Winter Olympics, there was only one other bid - from Almaty, Kazakhstan, a city whose biggest claim to fame is being the place Stalin banished Trotsky to before Trotsky made his way to Mexico.  So why not Almaty?  It would have been the first city in a former Soviet republic other than Russia to host an Olympiad, winter or summer, and it would have continued the streak of Olympiads in Asia - central Asia, yes, but still Asia.  Why not Almaty (population, 1.7 million people, twenty million fewer than Beijing), indeed?

Was it because of Borat? 

Aside from Beijing, though, I have no problem with the next Olympiads being held in three consecutive Asian cities.  After all, back in the 1920s, five consecutive winter and summer Olympiads were held in European cities, and no one had a problem with that.

Except maybe the Chinese and the Japanese . . .