Who Wears These Shoes?

There is nothing necessarily wrong with Florsheim shoes.  True, they are known for being cheap, stiff, and plebian, but they can be a reasonable and affordable choice to wear once in awhile, which sort of makes them the working man's dress shoes. A typical blue-collar guy probably has a pair of Florsheim shoes in his closet to go with the suit he wears to weddings, funerals, and lodge banquets.

But when Donald Trump wears them in the Oval Office, it only shows how cheap and tawdry the executive branch of the U.S. government has become.  It is the footwear equivalent of the Chevrolet SUVs Trump has ridden in.

So why is every dude in Trump's Cabinet wearing them?

Just because Trump wears Florsheims. you might think, that doesn't mean that his Cabinet secretaries have to wear them.  But it does mean they have to wear them.  And they do.  Trump, dissatisfied with the high-class luxury shoes his Cabinet secretaries sported, decided that if Florsheim shoes were good enough for him, they were good enough for men who work with him.  So he doled a bunch of pairs out to his flunkies and more or less made it clear that if they knew what was good for them, they would wear their new shoes.

And so came the greatest footwear story in American politics since George Walker Bush was in Baghdad and had a pair of shoes thrown at them by an Iraqi national ticked off at Bush for starting the Iraq War.

Working for Trump is like taking a wedding vow.  You must promise to love, honor and obey.  That is, if you want to remain in Trump's good graces - or employment.  And if he gives you Florsheims to wear, you wear them, if only to express your gratitude to the Dear Leader.  Crockett & Jones? Bruno Magli? Paul Evans?  No go, Joe - when you work for The Donald, you do what he says.

Especially if you're Marco Rubio, and you want to be Trump's heir apparent in 2028, even if the Florsheims your boss got you are three sizes too big, because Trump guessed your shoe size and was off by a country mile.

If you ask me, Trump's minions (despicable them) are acting their shoe sizes - certainly not their ages.

And so we now raise a toast to America's new war with Iran, and or wartime leader, Donald J. Trump!

Euch! Blecch! Blecch? Yuck! AUGHHHH!!!!!!  GAGAGAGAAUGHHHH!!!!!!