More Olympic Comings and Goings

I'm slowly finding more in the Olympics to write about, and also joke about:

The road cycling races in Paris have taken routes that go under the Eiffel Tower, through Versailles, and over the Seine.  How is Los Angeles going to compete with that?  A road cycling race in LA means going below the HOLLYWOOD sign, through South Central, and over that concrete-lined drainage ditch formerly known as the Los Angeles River.  Hey, maybe they can have the road cycling race in that!  Hey, if they could have drag races there in Grease . . .

I've been watching the mixed-sex relay races in swimming in track.  I was a little confused as to why the Olympics suddenly started having mixed-relay teams, until I decided that someone in the IOC came up with the idea so that American men can avoid the indignity of losing to competitors from former Yugoslavian republics.  

Julien Alford of Saint Lucia, an island country so small it would fit in the city limits of Tucson, won the women's 100-meter dash and thus won herself the first medal, gold or otherwise, for Saint Lucia.  Sha'Carri Richardson won the silver. Apparently, nothing can be done to prevent the indignity of American women of losing to competitors from Windward Islands nations in which an hour's drive is a trip across the country. 

I'm so proud of this country's athletic officials at the Games.  Irish athletes - particularly Daniel Wiffen - have won a good deal of medals at these Olympics, and U.S. officials haven't accused the Irish of cheating once.  Although, I'm sure, Donald Trump is likely to insist that any Olympic event in which a non-American athlete who defeats a U.S. favorite must have been "rigged" by "socialist, fascist Marxist, radical-left Democrats."  Or Italian satellites.

Alright, NBC, enough with the celebrities in the stands at the Olympics! Bad enough I've never been to Paris, do I have to look at Jessica Chastain, Tom Cruise, and John Travolta enjoying the Games in person?? And where are the French celebrities? Catherine Deneuve? She's from Paris - she's local!

A cosmic joke is what happens to you when you realize that rapper and NBC color commentator Mr. Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus has been to the Louvre and you've only been to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which is likely to induct Mr. Broadus any year now but will move heaven and earth to avoid inducting Jethro Tull because Jann Wenner and Jon Landau hate Ian Anderson's guts.

Life, meanwhile, is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans, like planning a trip to Paris only to be undone by unforeseen circumstances, like appendicitis, COVID, and - if the Democrats blow it this November - a policy of illegal emigration.

The end.  For now.