The Not-So-Great Impostor

Let me tell you, my loyal readers, a bit about myself.  I attended Cornell University where I majored in political science and spent a good deal of my free time running the campus radio station.  I hosted a free-form rock music program that played everything from Johnny Ace to Lindisfarne to Elvis Costello, in addition to classic rock favorites such as the Beatles and Led Zeppelin, and I also ran the news division, which broke the story of Al Gore having smoked pot.  After graduating from Cornell with honors, I traveled to Paris to study at the Sorbonne and married a French model.  My wife and I moved to California, where I hosted a weekly political talk show on an NBC affiliate before appearing on America's Talking and that cable channel's successor, MSNBC, eventually quitting to move back to New Jersey to be with my mother and take a job covering local news.  I remained married to my beloved wife Isabelle, whom I was separated from when she returned to France just before COVID hit, but she and the kids - Steven Jr., Brigitte, and Cassius - are finally returning to me next week. And I just got the job I've wanted for years; I'm going to be a DJ on satellite radio.

As you may have gathered, everything I just wrote is false, made up off the top of my head as I typed it.  (The only things I didn't make up are that I hosted a free-form radio show on the campus radio station - at Drew University, my real alma mater - and I have a job covering local news.)  But with a made-up story like that, I could have run for the U.S. House of Representatives as a Republican, and I probably could have been elected.

Because, hey, if George Santos could do it . . .   

The life story I just fabricated in this blog post, of course, pales in comparison to the whoppers Santos told in order to get elected to the U.S. House, from New York's Third U.S. House District.  He said he went to two universities when he never engaged in higher education, he said he worked for Citigroup when he did not, he claimed to have run an a domestic-animal welfare charity that does not exist, and he claimed his grandparents were survivors of the Holocaust to explain his Jewish heritage despite having been raised Catholic, although he's in fact pure goy.   (He later said he meant to say that he's "Jew-ish," sort of like Tracee Ellis Ross.)

Oh yeah, he also claimed his mother died at the World Trade Center on 9/11 when in fact she died in December 2016.

Some people wonder if his name is really George Santos.  

I suspect that his name is really George Glass.  (You have to have watched "The Brady Bunch" to get that joke.)  Well, if his last name really is Glass, that would explain his belief that he has Jewish heritage.

The Republicans should distance themselves from Glass - er, Santos - and have the House Ethics Committee investigate his background, especially the question of how he was able to lend his House campaign  far more money that he has ever made in a year.  They won't, of course, because Kevin McCarthy needs his vote to get elected Speaker of the House tomorrow and the far-right Republicans need Santos' vote on everything else. He has no intention of resigning, despite the wishes of many of his own constituents, and his House Republican colleagues have no problem with his many lies abut himself.  They lie as much as he does.  And keeping him in place in a Democratic state such as New York - where the Democratic Party made severe mistakes that might have made the difference between the Republicans winning or losing the fight for control of the House - is a great way to own the libs.

That said, Nassau County District Attorney Anne Donnelly, a Republican, is looking into the Santos case, and Santos is likely to face state and federal investigations as well.  A special election that could help the Democrats get back a seat they lse this past November may not be far off.

As for me . . . maybe I will marry a French model.  Alas, Anne Bezamat is already taken.