Not The Cat's Meow

Normally, once the Oscars are done (and they were early this year),  I review the "winners" of the awards from the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation, that is, the Razzies.  The Razzies are usually awarded the day before the Oscars, but this time only the nominations were announced before the Oscars.  But there's already a clear front runner for the most "wins," unlike with the Democratic presidential nomination campaign.  Leading the pack with nine nominations is Cats - the movie! :-D

Note the slogan at the top of the movie poster.  So much for truth in advertising.

I don't need to tell you again that I had the misfortune of taking in performance of the original Broadway production, with its original Broadway cast, and I was repelled by the grotesque costuming, the grotesque scenery, the grotesque choreography, and the songs, which were beyond grotesque.  After numerous stage productions and a TV version shown on public television, there was no reason to make a theatrically released movie out of this Andrew Lloyd Webber perversion of T.S. Eliot's writing, but someone went ahead and made one anyway.

The Razzie nominations Cats received are as follows:

• Worst Picture
• Worst Actress (Francesca Hayward)
• Worst Supporting Actress (Judi Dench)
• Worst Supporting Actress (yes, another - for Rebel Wilson)
• Worst Supporting Actor (James Corden)
• Worst Screen Combo (Any Two Half-Feline/Half-Human Hairballs)
• Worst Screen Combo (another two-fer! Jason Derulo & His CGI-Neutered "Bulge")
• Worst Director (Tom Hooper - who?) 
• Worst Screenplay (Lee Hall and Tom Hooper)

I'm betting that it wins at least eight of these awards. At least.

Anyway, Cats was one of the most high-profile bombs of the 2019 holiday season.  There have been bad movie musicals before, but this one will likely go down as the worst of all time by a wide margin - now and forever.  It should at least be memorialized (no pun intended) as the worst movie musical since 1978's Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.  But while Cats may have had an accomplished dancer in the form of Francesca Hayward . . .

. . . at least the Sgt. Pepper movie had sexy ballerina mimes! 

Not to mention one of the most memorable bad screen combos ever - Alice Cooper and his cream pie! :-D

I like repeating myself, yes . . . 

I'll be back in a flash - or whenever the Razzies are awarded for 2020 - with more trash. :-p