O Alexandria!

I have a new celebrity crush.  I'm in love with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Yes.  I'm hot for the woman soon to become the U.S. Representative for New York State's Fourteenth U.S. House District. Because she's cooler and more exciting than any movie star or top model today.

Yes, I've long had a crush on Olympic swimmer Janet Evans, as you all know, but now she seems a bit too California, too all-American, and besides, unlike Ms. Ocasio-Cortez, she's already married.   Besides, it's hard to resist the appeal of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, easily on her way to becoming Washington's most eligible bachelorette.

For starters, she's hot.  She defines puertoriqueña hotness more than Jennifer Lopez or Joan Smalls, the two previous avatars of Puerto Rican womanhood.  That ravenous black hair, that slender figure, that olive complexion, those smoldering charcoal eyes - ooh,  I just melt! :-D  And of course, there's that inter-ethnic attraction, which adds a little mystery and romance to any relationship.  But looks aren't everything, and in this day and age, that's been made clear in no uncertain terms.  No, I love her especially for her politics. She wants to make Medicare available for everyone!  She wants to mandate a living wage for every American!  She wants free college!  She wants gun control!  She wants Americans to have something like ICE - no, not the Immigration and Customs Enforcement bureau, which she wants to abolish . . . I mean she wants us to have something like the Inter-City Express bullet trains in Germany.  At least I think she does, since progressives like she support more mass transit.  But the biggest reason I love her is she wants to do something about climate change - now! 

How serious is she about climate change?  Enough to storm into the office of Representative Frank Pallone (D-NJ), the incoming chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, and urge him to form a panel to figure out what to do about it.  Enough to join protesters in front of House Speaker-designate Nancy Pelosi's office advocating for a  "Green New Deal" to create jobs in renewable energy and sustainable infrastructure.  She's truly a woman after my own heart.  She's got spunk.

Unlike Lou Grant, I love spunk.

I also have a feeling that Ms. Ocasio-Cortez - ooh, I love that double surname, it sounds so classy, so . . . British! - will one day become our first Latina President, and I would love to be her First Gentleman.  Indeed, any male American liberal would consider it an honor to be the husband of the first Hispanic woman in the White House.  Because she'd be a President who only makes men melt - not glaciers!  And while there are many beautiful, intelligent women who can take you to a place where no one's ever been, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is ready to take America to a place it's never been before - a place where everyone can see a doctor and get there without a car.  (Unless they want to use a car, but their cars will be electric subcompacts.)  She made me swoon with her pro-Palestinian stand on the Arab-Israeli conflict before I even noticed how lovely she is.  She's drop-dead gorgeous and against the death penalty!  Wow, how great is that?     

The only drawback here is that she's 24 years younger than I am, meaning that I'm old enough to be her father.  But heck, French President Emmanuel Macron has a wife 25 years older than he is,  so if a First Spouse can be a generation older than the president in France, what would be so bad about me being a generation older than my gorgeous-President wife?

So, Alex - may I call you Alex? - will you marry me? :-)

Now, I'm obviously being tongue-in-cheek here, as I never expect to even meet Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, much less marry her.  But I do love this woman, and mainly because she has the right priorities for this country and I want to see her have a long, successful political career.  And she is hot. ;-)

But I doubt if I could have a successful relationship with any woman too young to remember the Reagan administration.  It all comes down to musical taste.  Women of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's generation are all into Taylor Swift or Rihanna.  Ms. Ocasio-Cortez would probably think that Crosby, Stills and Nash are my lawyers.

Carry on. ;-)