Every Valentine's Day, I'm reminded that I don't have a girlfriend and have never had a girlfriend in my entire life. But, since I'll be fifty in a few years, it doesn't bother me so much. In fact, it doesn't bother me at all.
In high school, all the girls I knew were taken. The same was true in college. I never had much of a chance to meet women in the years after college, because it was difficult to get out in the world. I didn't like the idea of dating co-workers at any of the jobs I had, and when I got out of work, I was too tired to go anywhere but home, so I never got much of a chance to meet anyone. Whenever I did meet someone, she was usually taken.
Would you believe I was in love once? I won't say with whom, but I did meet and befriend one woman whom I was absolutely in love with, but, true to form, she was already seeing someone. She eventually got married, and I didn't get invited to her wedding. That was all right by me; I couldn't get a date for it anyway. Subsequent attempts to find someone else didn't get anywhere, and I gave up looking, convinced that the woman I was unrequitedly in love with would remain the love of my life.
I forgot about her within two years.
So, no, I don't have anyone I can realistically call the love of my life. I still can't be bothered to look for Ms. Right nowadays. I had my heart broken once already, and associations with other women I was interested in at one time or another in my distant past were disasters - some of them were ill-fated from the very beginning - and I really don't want to go through any of that again. While I count many women among my friends, they're just that - friends - and there aren't any realistic opportunities for anything more serious than a simple friendship. And I'm happy with that.
So, I obviously have no interest in Valentine's Day. I just plain ignore it. Once upon a time, I would get upset every February 14 because I didn't have anyone. But not caring about not having anyone can liberate you immensely when Valentine's Day rolls around. Suddenly you realize you don't have to worry about buying an expensive gift for your lady, or taking her to an expensive restaurant. Suddenly, you realize what an overhyped, phony "holiday" it is. And it doesn't bother you anymore.
And I get to do what betrothed men can't - crack irreverent jokes about wanting to spend the day in a garage in Chicago. :-p
2 comments:
Thanks for writing.
Sincerely, Your Pal, Josh Weiner (41, Heterosexual, Never Married, NYC, NY, USA)
You're welcome. :-) Steve
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