Lucky 7

Our new personal computer has Microsoft Windows 7 - our old one, which we're keeping, has Windows XP - and it's taking some time to get used to. It has more bells and whistles than Windows XP, such as miniature Internet window screens to see all the windows open at one time and a somewhat complicated filing system for photos, documents and the like. I really don't think it's any better or worse than XP - just different.

I was already getting sick and tired of hearing about it because of all these asinine TV ads in which a snooty English bird, a sultry French chick, and a hunkish German or Austrian dude all take credit for Windows 7 ("Windows 7 was my idea") and they all say, "I'm a PC," like they're all John Hodgman or something. Look, we don't need all the silly TV commercials for Windows 7, because pretty much every PC sold between now and the end of its shelf life is going to have it. And, as my mom and I found out, everyone is going to get a new PC sooner or later anyway.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to get used to my new keyboard, on which the keys seem to be closer together. I keep hitting the Caps Lock button every time I try to strike the letter "A." And if that weren't enough, our Internet service provider is promising a new and improved e-mail screen. Be still, my beating pancreas . . ...