Displeasurable Dressing

One of the weirdest stories to come out of New Jersey is the controversy over Dressing for Pleasure, a sex shop in Montclair. The store, which has sold fetish material and bondage wear for people who like to be, uh, creative in their sexual relations, was in violation of municipal code and forced the owners, a husband and wife (family values?) to stop holding S&M parties in their basement, or "dungeon."

Business sagged, and the husband had a life-threatening illness, and now Dressing for Pleasure is closing altogether.

I, for one, am happy to see it go. I'm very sorry that one of the owners has been very ill, but that doesn't change my opinion of the very idea of fetish stores. They are an embarrassment to the communities in which they are located and they are uncomfortable to even go past. Especially this one, with its kinky window displays.

It's not much of a secret that many people have some sort of sexual quirk, some more outrageous than others. Do I have one? That's none of your business. That's my point. Fetishes are private affairs, and bringing them out into the open with stores like these is vulgar and tasteless. We live in a world where everything private is publicized and everything public is privatized. Putting bondage and S&M culture out in the open is about as senseless as putting Blackwater in charge of military combat.

If one must have fetish stores, it is far better to have them on an inconspicuous street, out of sight and out of mind. The couple who ran Dressing for Pleasure in Montclair had their store on Bloomfield Avenue, the town's main street. Even more unsettling is that this lower-middle class, mostly black neighborhood. The couple involved are white. So, while it may be conveniently out of the way of the posher area of Montclair Center (Montclair's name for its downtown), it's all right to have it in a less affluent, nonwhite area?

Oh yeah, there happen to be a few churches within walking distance of Dressing for Pleasure.

I don't think this couple looked down on the locals. I don't think they're bigots. But putting their store in this particular section of town smacked of insensitivity.

The couple plan to continue to sell their wares online, and they say they will continue to fight for the civil rights of "the bondage community."

The idea of S&M participants forming a "community," like a neighborhood block or a professional guild, seems rather ridiculous.

And as for their rights . . . they can do what they want. They should just keep into themselves.

Please note that I never revealed the names of these people, although they're publicly on record. I've preferred to be consistent in referring to fetishes as private affairs.