A Horsewoman With No Brains

In the past quarter century, Madonna has proven that she doesn't excel at anything. She's a horrible singer, a terrible songwriter, a lousy actress, and, based on the reaction to her work at a Berlin film festival, is a rotten movie director. She can't cut it as a wife, and barely makes it as a mother. Now we know she's also a flop as an equestrian.

Madge fell off a horse again, this time in the Hamptons. She blamed the fall on a celebrity photographer hiding in the bushes nearby for spooking her horse. The paparaazo in question didn't deny skulking around for a picture of her, but he insisted that he only saw her twice - once on the horse, again off it - and did not actually see her fall because he wasn't there when it happened. In other words, he's suggesting that not only can't Madge sing, dance or act, she can't tell the truth.

By the way, in case you're wondering how it turned out . . . the horse is fine.

Madge thinks she's so special, she thinks she has a natural ability for anything she sets out to do. Someone who can sing, write songs, produce a record, ride a horse . . . who does she think she is . . .

Stephen Stills? :-p