2004: Winners and Losers

I believe it was George Bush the Elder who said, in explaining his opposition to a national economic strategy, that it would favor some industries over others - and that the government shouldn't be in the business of picking winners and losers in economics. He's right - government should not pick winners and losers in any field.

I should!

I've decided to compile a list of people I feel are the big winners and losers of the year. I feel bitter about a couple of these folks being winners, while I'm sad that others are losers. But mostly, I feel that everyone who's on this list got are rightful winners or losers in one fashion or another, and I intend to comment accordingly. I might do this again next year. If you read this and feel I shouldn't be in the business of picking winners and losers, write to your congressman. :-p

My list of winners include:

Boston. Not only is the capital of Massachusetts becoming the most livable city in America, with a healthy middle class and several funky immigrant neighborhoods, it hosted the first Democratic convention since 9/11 without incident, the Red Sox broke their 86-year-old World Series curse, and the city could end up producing the next President. On the down side, that President could be Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney.

Roger Chapman. At an age - 62 - when most rock and roll performers are considering retirement, rock's most underappreciated vocalist embarked on a successful tour of his native Britain marking the silver anniversary of his solo career. Meanwhile, a British record label issued two compact discs of uncommonly good BBC radio performances from his old group Family, including a couple of different arrangements of the group's best-known songs that in some cases were superior to the properly recorded versions Family released in the sixties and seventies.

Jason Alexander. In the year of the reversal of the Red Sox curse, the former "Seinfeld" star has apparently reversed another curse - the fact that every television series starring an alumnus of "Seinfeld" has failed. Yet CBS renewed Alexander's sitcom "Listen Up" for a full season, and the show is getting funnier each week. Even if doesn't make it to a second season, "Listen Up" has already made it farther than previous "Seinfeld" alumni sitcoms.

Mel Gibson. Say what you will about The Passion of the Christ; Gibson's film proved that a movie set in ancient Judea and performed in Aramaic with English subtitles could play in Peoria and just about everywhere else in America.

Tom Brokaw. Admit it. You're going to miss his dry, chipped Midwestern accent and his assuring screen presence now that he's retired as anchor of NBC's nightly newscast. Brokaw went out with class after a distinguished career, and for all his own talents, Brian Williams has some big shoes to fill.

Kelsey Grammer. Another NBC star who went out with class was the star of "Frasier," whose eleven-year run ended with one of the best sitcom finales ever. Grammer may bring Dr. Frasier Crane back for yet another sitcom, but will only do so if the setup is as good as the old one. Sometimes the toughest act to follow is yourself.

Barack Obama. He's a biracial politician with a foreign-sounding name who can inspire a nation and feel at home with downstate Illinois farmers and Chicago neighborhood dwellers, both of whom joined together to elect him to the U.S. Senate. In a darkened sky that is the Democratic party, Obama shines like the evening star, bringing together the same groups Hillary Rodham Clinton only polarizes.

Lance Armstrong. Six Tour de France victories in a row? Call it the Tour de Lance! :-D

Washington, D.C. After more than thirty years, the District of Columbia finally has a baseball team - the Nationals, formerly the Montreal Expos - again. In fact, the fact that it's a major-league team in any sport playing in D.C. is astonishing - the Redskins and the Wizards play in the Maryland suburbs. (The Capitals will also play in suburban Maryland, if the NHL lockout ever ends!)

Michael Moore. Fahrenheit 9/11 is the most commercially successful movie documentary of all time . . .

And now, the losers:

Michael Moore. . . . but it didn't help the Democrats win the 2004 elections! :-O

The Democratic Party. Let me see if I have this straight. The economy is in the toilet. We're fighting a war in Iraq we can't win. We're despised all over the world. The prospect of a Supreme Court packed with justices bent on overturning Roe v. Wade and maybe even Loving v. Virginia (the ruling banning state laws against interracial marriage) is very real. And the Democrats still can't win the White House or take back Congress?? The Democrats insist they will fight against the far right's most extreme objectives, but somehow the idea of Harry Reid as the most powerful Democrat in Washington doesn't reassure me.

Ben Affleck. He may have revitalized his love life by trading one Jennifer for another, but his movie career is still moribund; his latest movie, Surviving Christmas, didn't survive at the box office, and movie critics are ready to bash movies he hasn't even made yet. How long will it be before he reunites with Matt Damon in Ocean's Thirteen?

Halle Berry. Just when we thought it was safe to go back to the movie theater, because Halle Berry was taking herself seriously as an actress, she makes a universally hated movie based on the DC Comics character Catwoman, even though it's not faithful to the original comic book character. Berry has gone from an Oscar winner to James Bond girl to the star of a movie even Ed Wood wouldn't have made. Shouldn't her career have gone the other way?

Julie Bowen. One could argue that Teri Polo had a bad year. She began 2004 starring in a TV series, only to see it canceled; then she did a pilot for another series that wasn't picked up. Now she enters the new year without a clue as to what to do next. But the same things happened to former "Ed" lead actress Julie Bowen this year - and worse, unlike Teri Polo, she doesn't appear in the leading movie in box office receipts (which is breaking opening-week records) in the final weekend of the year. Rest easy, though; she'll be back.

James McGreevey. The now-former governor of New Jersey won't be back - ever. It's not that he's gay, or even that he pretended to be otherwise; it's that he ruined his political career and quite possibly his post-political career by rewarding his gay lover - an Israeli national - with a sensitive domestic security post. Some would call this a Shakespearean tragedy, but I doubt Shakespeare could have come up with anything this bizarre. Heck, even Christopher Durang couldn't have made this up!

Dan Rather. So, did Dan the Man have an agenda against George W. Bush? We'll never really know, but Rather, an experienced ("Experience!" - CBS News) and supposedly professional journalist, should have known better than to trust a bunch of suspicious-looking documents on Bush's National Guard service, even if the information on them was true. This is a mistake even Michael Moore, who by his own admission is not a trained reporter, wouldn't have made. Heck, even anti-Kerry Vietnam veterans were more savvy than this, and the facts weren't even on their side! Anyway, this brouhaha cast Rather his anchorship of the CBS nightly newscast, which suddenly has less credibility than a syndicated tabloid show (ironically, Rather's error occurred on the Wednesday edition of "60 Minutes," where he's staying), and he will leave the anchor chair with much less goodwill than Tom Brokaw. Pity - after 24 years, Rather finally seemed to be getting the hang of the anchor job! :-O

George Steinbrenner. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy you Alex Rodriguez. Too bad A-Rod couldn't deliver a World Series championship for the Yankees.

Sisterhood. I'm not talking about black women (who will certainly survive Condoleeza Rice and Janet Jackson), nor do I mean a clique of politically powerful Mormons in our nation's capital (who will surely survive Robert Bennett). I'm referring to sisterhood in the literal sense. The Hilton sisters, the Simpson sisters, and the Olsen twins have caused sorority to lose more prestige than the U.S. dollar, but their crimes were misdemeanors compared to the felonies of the Bush twins, which sisterhood may never recover from. True, the Kerry sisters were impressive, but they're not the ones we'll be paying attention to for the next four years.

The National Hockey League. The way things are going, the Stanley Cup championship game will be played in August. Even the Canadians won't be interested by then.

New York. New York used to be America's most unique city - an oasis of culture in a nation of philistines, a center of multicultural savvy in an aw-shucks whitebread country, a repository of intelligence in a land of stupidity. Now even New York is getting dull. It hosted the first Republican convention since the outbreak of the Iraq War without even one leftist-instigated melee outside Madison Square Garden, it's on its second Republican mayor in a row, it's allowed the opening of a Home Depot in Soho (!!) and a Target in Brooklyn, far-right think tanks (talk about your oxymorons!) are sprouting up in the Big Apple faster than mushrooms after a spring rain, and indoor malls also seem to be taking over. Meanwhile, Rudolph Guiliani and Bernard Kerik were found to have practiced the kind of cronyism normally associated with Midwestern burgs like Kansas City, the Yankees choked in the AL pennant game against the Red Sox after nearly finishing them off, and they still can't build a subway line under Second Avenue!

And finally. . . .

George W. Bush. Okay, he won the election, but now he has to clean up the mess he made in Iraq. I hope he enjoyed his Christmas turkey; he'll be feasting on crow by Easter.

And so, on to 2005. :-O