Not In a Great Mood . . .

Well, the snowstorm has come and gone, the sidewalks have all been shoveled, and my mood is better. But not much better.

I'm getting depressed about my inability to find a job in this tough economy, and I'm ready to take anything I can get, even a part-time job in some chain store - if I can get even that.

I might be getting involved in more activism - specifically, the kind that requires more than sending a couple of e-mails to your representatives in Congress or signing an e-petition. For one thing, I might be able to get involved in Leigh Davis's public access television project, now that they've had to start from scratch. They've actually scored a good deal of points already by even getting a couple of celebrity endorsements for their show, which is relatively easy to do when you're based near New York. They've gotten an on-camera endorsement from Phil Donahue (the same), and they've secured a few comments from sitcom actress Mimi Kennedy.

I can't help but feel a little skeptical about this news, though. Phil Donahue proved that no one cares what he thinks by doing an ill-conceived, ill-advised talk show on an ill-conceived, ill-advised cable network like MSNBC, and while Mimi Kennedy may be something to brag about, I'd have been more impressed if Leigh and her buddies had gotten a woman from the Kennedy family that matters. That is, Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg, or former Maryland lieutenant governor Kathleen Kennedy Townsend - you know, Bobby's girl?

Then again, I 'm not even sure people listen to the Kennedys anymore. Kathleen Kennedy Townsend actually lost her bid to become governor of Maryland - a very Democratic state - last year, losing the general election to a Republican. Her brother, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., has been writing columns in every publication from the Los Angeles Times to Rolling Stone about what a despicable job Bush has done with regards to the environment (RFK Jr. is an environmental lawyer), but no one seems to care what Bobby Junior has to say, and besides, how many people vote primarily on the environment anyway?

In any event, I don't know how much I'll be involved in Leigh's project, but I hope to contribute something. It's tough being idealistic these days, though. I've actually been thinking about volunteering for Howard Dean's campaign, but I wonder how much of a difference I could make if I joined, or whether or not Dr. Dean could make if elected. I guess I could meet some likeminded people in the Dean campaign and form, some friendships, but that sounds like a cynical reason for joining a political campaign. Did people join George McGovern's 1972 presidential campaign to end war, poverty, and bigotry, or did they join to meet other people? Given the fact that McGovern had virtually no chance of winning the presidency from the start, maybe some fellows really did join the McGovern campaign to meet chicks. Warren Beatty probably did.

Oh yeah, I ought to tell you about my role in the 1988 presidential election. I had planned to join Gary Hart's campaign that year because I thought he had a really good shot at defeating either Bob Dole or George Bush, Sr., and he seemed to be the kind of guy we needed in the White House going into the nineties. Of course, Hart was out one sex scandal later, and I had to make do with supporting Michael Dukakis. So I joined the Dukakis campaign, worked as hard as I could on phone banks and with canvassing, but of course George Bush, Sr. won with a negative campaign that Dukakis was simply too ill-equipped to combat.

I did do some work for Bill Clinton's 1992 campaign, and when he won I expected change for the better. What I got was NAFTA, Gingrich, the Defense of Marriage Act, and welfare repeal disguised as reform. I voted for Clinton in 1992 and again in 1996, but without much enthusiasm the second time around, and I voted for Gore in 2000 thinking I couldn't get any more cynical - until Gore's victory was stolen by Republican canvassers in Florida with the aid of the United States Supreme Court.

Today we have perpetual war in the Middle East, millions of jobs lost, environmental degradation, and plenty of raw deals to go around for almost everyone. And while some may be aroused to action, I seem to be feeling more influenced by inertia. It's just like that old Ten Years After lyric. I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do - so maybe I should just leave it up to someone else. I know, nice attitude, but what I can I say?