Things I Don't Get

There are a lot of things I just don't understand. Examples:

Opera. Why pay good money to go and listen to a fat lady in an outrageous getup vocalize in an incomprehensible lingo when I can watch MTV and see a Queen Latifah video for nothing?

Football. Alright, let's see if I have this straight. . . .You start the clock, then you run with the ball to your opponent's end zone, then you get tackled by a bunch of guys bigger than you are, then you stop the play, and you do the whole thing over again until someone scores. . . , than you keep doing it over and over and over for an hour padded out to three hours and change. . . .Is it any wonder the rest of the world plays soccer?

Sport utility vehicles. Who needs a station wagon the size of a bungalow to go to the convenience store for a quart of milk? And while we're on the subject, what's up with the Chevrolet Avalanche - a pickup that turns into a wagon? Why do grownups need a Transformer vehicle?

Christian clown ministries. Jesus and His disciples did not spread their word wearing rainbow wigs, and they sure as heck didn't spray seltzer bottles at the marriage of Cana!

More later.