Kimmy G Foiled

"Do you know me?  I was a decent looking woman when I was married to a Democratic governor, but when I changed my party,  I changed my looks.  

"I lived with Donald Trump, Jr. for awhile, and then his dad gave me a foreign ambassadorship to get rid of me when he got back in power.

"I'm now living as a nouveau-riche deadbeat in Athens, where everyone mistakes me for the daughter of the Creature of the Black Lagoon.  That's why I carry the American Express card.

"It allows me to live it up on Santorini, which I could have sworn was an Italian island, in the summertime, pay for security when I let the Greek government know that my boss could topple it if he wanted to, and when I charge more than I can pay, hey, I don't worry, I can get some rich man to help me pay it off.  Well, hopefully.  Anything to help me keep getting collagen treatments!"

To apply for the card, look for a form available wherever the card is welcomed.  Everyone except MAGA grifters is encouraged to do so.  Really.

"The American Express Card.  Don't leave office without it."